The Polyamory Toolkit

A Guidebook for Polyamorous Relationships

The book focuses on specific tools people can use to address the common issues and deeper aspects of a polyamorous relationship. This work includes topics such as: Jealousy, Compersion – finding joy in your partners’ joy, Communication, Mitigating Triggers, Creating a Solid Foundation, and so much more.

Chapters Include:

  • And NOT Or  –  Learn to see others as adding to your life instead of replacing something 

  • Uncomfortable vs Wrong – Learn to distinguish between these two perspectives

  • Breaking Habitual Patterns –  You don’t have to respond based on your past

  • Place of Assistance – How to help your partners while staying true to yourself 

This is an easy to read and very useful book. More than 25 useful tools in bite-size pieces for anyone involved in Polyamory, considering Polyamory, or for that matter, many of the tools are useful for all relationships. I have found this book to be more helpful than any of the other books I have read on Poly.

It’s fantastic! I got it, started reading and didn’t stop until I finished it! Huge CONGRATULATIONS!

The book was super useful. I recommend it to everyone who asks me for poly advice.

I loved it … our family bought 3 copies to read together. We went through the entire thing, book club style

I’m laying here in bed at 10:30 on a school night, tears leaking out of my eyes. All of you who know me know this part– I’m the mono slave of a poly guy. And I struggle. I almost didn’t buy this book because I thought “what can a book that was written by poly people, for poly people hold for me?”. I’ve been doing this for eight years now, I know what’s coming and that we will handle it together.

And by page 26, I know that I’ve been given a gift. A chance to further develop my skills to manage my part of this mono/poly dynamic. From a source I wasn’t expecting.


Just arrived last week! I intend to use it with clients also.

Sample Content from the Book

The First Tool – Polyamory

  From 'The Polyamory Toolkit" by Dan Williams and Dawn Williams (2019)   TOOL #1 - DEVELOPING YOUR WHY   Dan says…   I can certainly recall more than once shaking my head and wondering "Why am I even bothering with this poly thing!?" The first...

Self Publishing – Next Power Exchange Book – Turning our Polyam books into audiobooks

Self Publishing - Next Power Exchange Book - Turning our Polyam books into audiobooks   Eleven years ago when we had 'Living M/s' published.....self-publishing was complicated and not common. We had thought of self-publishing, but a publisher reached out to us...

Team Polyamory

We just got a request to review a textbook writing on Relationship Anarchy and had to turn them down. Basically, we know what Relationship Anarchy is, but it's not how we do polyamory. As a matter of fact, we'll be writing a class soon on 'Team Polyamory'. I'm not...

The Polyamory Toolkit

When Dan and I got together in 1999, we decided that we were going to design our own relationship. We had no interest in being monogamous. We had no idea what that meant, as we didn’t know of anyone that lived that way. Not only were we going to be ok with each other...

How To Meet People

  Exert from The Polyamory Toolkit   Some would say that being polyamorous isn’t about the number of partners you have; that you can be in a two person relationship or even single and not dating anyone and still identify as polyamorous. And although I agree with...

When you have communication disconnects, try Porch Time

I used to have some less than nice thoughts about one of my partners partners. I thought they were slimy at best. But my partner loved this person, so was I supposed to share it? Stuff it? How would feel if someone told me that my choice in a romantic partner was...

Fair vs Equal

One year, Karen and I took a five day cruise for vacation. It was great! Being able to unwind, a very lax agenda, room service, romantic meals by moonlight, just a fantastic experience. When we returned, Dawn was happy to see me and, after letting me go on about what...

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