EA559 – Sex Parties

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This week on the Erotic Awakening Podcast Dan and dawn talk about with Leanne from the Poly Philia blog  about how to host (and experiences at) sex parties! Fun conversation! 

Plus a chose your own erotic adventure book!

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Dan 0:04
This week on record getting sex parties, club 42 and motorcycle.

dawn 0:11
Welcome to erotic awakening and exploration of all things erotic. If you are offended by adult topics or prohibited by law, we recommend you stop listening. Right now.

Dan 0:20
You’re on the road getting podcasting, as well as workshops by Dan and Don are offered free of charge to our community.

dawn 0:25
Because of the expenses involved. We’re grateful to those that support us through Patreon and donations. One eight, we’ve got a list of people I’m around like clue caressa and a net

Dan 0:36
and middle Taurus, john Katz and Phoenix I Keyshia

dawn 0:40
Lee, and the amazing justice.

Dan 0:43
Oh, amazing, Jess.

dawn 0:46
Hi, Dan. Hi, Dawn. Wow, we stopped music going, you know, music.

Dan 0:56
podcast, we will soon be talking to Leanne from the poly philia. blog. And we are going to be talking about, among other things, sex parties, Dawn, have you ever been to a sex party? I don’t answer that. I probably was there. And maybe. And then we have another international crowd of new subscribers to the newsletters and an interactive book I am looking forward to telling people about

dawn 1:25
awesome. So yeah, we got some new subscribers.

Dan 1:27
I want to jump back to the Patreon for a moment. It is just really you have been busting your little tail? Yes, yes. With all the live stuff. You’ve been doing the zoom and virtual conferencing and stuff. And it’s just really, it’s a really nice feeling to see people saying Why thank you. And some of them are saying thank you by writing a nice email saying thank you. Some of them are saying here’s a book, here’s five bucks, or, like one of our amazing I had to actually look up with somebody hit a new tear, this time I that’s a tear. Let me look that up and see what that means. So very cool, very much appreciate everybody.

dawn 2:09
So absolutely. So nice to be appreciated. But uh, um, it’s really kind of fun doing all these zoom workshops and stuff because I’m seeing a lot. I’m getting to know a lot of people that come to the same, you know, come to the different zoom workshops. And it’s some of it’s the same crowd. And then there’s new people in each one. So and doing zoom, I get to meet people from around the world. So that’s pretty amazing.

Dan 2:31
That is that is pretty neat. So today on the podcast, we’re gonna open up by starting to talk to Leanne from poly philia. We met Leanne just recently the Hey there catsuits podcast what women and other fantastic people wants and I’m always screw up naming that podcast. I’ll put it in the show notes. And we know Polly philia from her sex positive personal blog, meme page about all kinds of things like polyamory, non monogamy, and personal growth and stuff. And let’s bring on Hi, Leanne. Thanks for being on the podcast tonight.

Unknown Speaker 3:06
Hey, happy to be here.

dawn 3:08
So I it is it’s really late where you are, isn’t it?

Unknown Speaker 3:13
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it’s like bedtime. So I can’t talk like too loudly, especially given the topic of the show.

Dan 3:25
do you what do you want to tell us where you’re dialing in from so to speak?

Unknown Speaker 3:28
So I’m in the UK more precisely in Wales. I’m actually currently with my partner’s family. But yeah, it is. It is 11 is 1130 while approaching 11:30pm over here. But yeah, I’m very excited to talk to you both about sex parties and orgies and whatever else we’re going to discuss,

Dan 3:48
we will see if we can avoid making it so loud that the anyone else walks in on you while we’re having a conversation. I’m

Unknown Speaker 3:58
sure I’ve got my I got my headphones in. It’s all good.

Dan 4:02
So variety of things that I want to talk about. But let’s start off by talking about when you say we were talking earlier about organizing sex parties, and you said you’ve organized some sex parties. So what I start off by what do you mean by a sex party? Because I don’t want one person’s definition to think it’s one thing and maybe somebody else thinks it’s something else?

Unknown Speaker 4:20
Sure. So to me a sex party or an orgy, whatever you want to call it, is basically just like a regular party, except with the sexual element of it emphasized it, you know, kind of a lot of people just assume that it’s, you know, you start the party and then everyone just kind of it’s a pile of bodies and everyone falls on each other. It’s absolutely not like that at all. It’s you know, everyone mingles. We’re a bit everyone chats and then, you know, people go off in pairs or threes or larger groups. And it’s just as simple as that. And I guess, you know, the sacral elements definitely more emphasized. There’s a bit more of an exhibitionism element to it. There’s sometimes a bit of kink if people are into that. It’s kind of just whatever you know, You you want to, you know, get out of the experience. So that was it. That is how I would define this xrt.

dawn 5:06
So we have been to more than one of those. So that is yes.

Dan 5:11
So when you are organizing a party like that, how do you find people? Not to questions, really? How do you find people to attend? And then do you do any kind of vetting of those people?

Leeanne 5:25
Oh, absolutely. I think matching is the most important thing. I’ve definitely attended some sex parties that were not well vetted. And the consequences are that, you know, people don’t know what they’re doing. There are some people who kind of don’t respect the rules of the space. There are some people who, you know, if they’re not well vetted, they could be a threat to the other members attending. And yeah, so vetting is really important to me. And that’s why I’ve only ever organized kind of small gatherings, like a large gathering I have personally organized was 15 people. And these were all kind of friends and friends of friends and partners. It’s all kind of a very kind of closed, an intimate group. And that’s kind of what I prefer. But yeah, vetting the vetting process is extremely important. And I think it’s, if you’re organizing something bigger, I think it’s really important to for every person who attends, have someone to vouch for them. So you know, if they do something wrong, then you can go Who let that person in here? Or you know, you have they have someone who is responsible for them. I think that has always worked out really well, at the party that I’ve attended. And I think also, it’s more important that the person who vouches for the individual, be a woman, usually. Because if it’s just, you know, a guy kind of inviting his other guy friends, and, you know, I feel like there’s a lot more kind of potential for harm that whereas having having women kind of vouch for their partners, or you know, other friends, I’ve genuinely, in my personal experience found to be a much safer bet. This is obviously a massive generalization, but that has been kind of my experience with organizing and attending sex parties over the years.

Dan 7:07
So what do you do for location? I mean, certainly, this isn’t something well, I don’t know, maybe a smaller group that you’re somewhat vetting strongly you might have over to your own home or something. But I would think when it gets larger, that gets even trickier.

Unknown Speaker 7:23
Yeah, so that’s great question. So for me, like I said, you know, my gathering is much more intimate. So I usually have them at my home. And that works out pretty well. You know, you kind of have you just, you know, put out towels in mattresses and cushions everywhere and you know, just kind of just improvise with the space and clingfilm is also really good if things, you know, if they get messy, but for kind of the larger ones that I’ve attended, I know that, you know, for the kind of large ticketed events, they usually the ticket money goes to, like, you know, like renting, like, Airbnb or something for night. And I imagine, you know, I don’t know how much detail they tell these Airbnb hosts. You know, I don’t know how much they tell these hosts about, like, what they’re going to do with it, I assume, they just say, oh, we’re gonna have a policy and, you know, like, if the policy involves sex, like, you know, that’s kind of part of the deal, right? Um, but yeah, that’s kind of what I know other people have done. They usually get, they usually just, you know, get based on the number of people attending, they just get an Airbnb or kind of a space to accommodate that.

dawn 8:29
Yeah, cool.

Dan 8:31
What’s the what is it like for, let’s say, if I were to attend a party, and if I’d never been to a party like this before, and let’s say somebody vouched for me, and I mean, I really, I can understand the first half the mingling in the party aspect of it. But it’s, it strikes me as new, nearly bizarre, to just say, to just approach somebody and say, Hey, so that’s a sex party. Why don’t we have sex?

dawn 9:00
Well, that’s because you and I talk so much, we don’t know how to really hook up. It seems a little confusing. We have been to a couple of house parties before we’ve now hooked up with anybody. Really? Yeah, we’ve talked too much. Right? That’s what we say we jokingly say, but we’ve never hooked up with anyone at a house party.

Dan 9:19
Oh. So is that an actually that’s going to lead into another question, but let’s start with this first one, though, is what do you what do you recommend to people to kind of get to say it’s okay to go ask somebody for sex? Um,

Unknown Speaker 9:33
I think it’s just kind of

Unknown Speaker 9:36
I don’t think this is super helpful, obviously, but like, you know, you kind of sense like the vibe like right if you’re, if you if you’re like talking to someone, and you know, like, there’s that I think kind of your surroundings kind of set the tone for you to be honest, if there are people other people having sex around you, you’re kind of you know, half naked already. You know, you both know why you’re here. To kind of, you know, that already kind of sets the tone and helps things along with it. I feel but then I think, you know, there’s nothing wrong with just being being direct just going like, Hey, you know, I find you attractive, I’d like to do something, is that something you might be comfortable with. However, I think something that has also really helped is kind of having icebreakers at the start of a party. So that’s something that I really like to do to kind of warm people up because I think, Well, you know, an orgy isn’t kind of an everyday occurrence, a lot of people don’t really know, kind of what they’re doing, like, what the, what the etiquette is how to kind of kick things off. And I think there was always a very interesting point, like, in between, like the mingling, and the sex, where like, you know, everyone’s kind of inching closer to that moment, and everyone’s thinking about it, but no one knows how to start it. So what I like to do is kind of icebreakers and the icebreakers that I have at my event are, so I have a couple of kind of card games, oh, well, card games as a kind of loose term for it, I have, you know, decks of cards that have kind of conversation starters on them, okay. A one that I really like to use is the, there’s a game, this game called turtle drink, it’s by this company called cut, they do some really funny YouTube videos. And like, the trivia drink game has five different types of decks of cards. And one of the cards one of the decks is specifically about kind of sex, and drugs and that kind of thing, and more more kind of racy. 18 plus kind of stuff. And I love to take that deck, and I just kind of pick card out of it and go, Oh, you know, like, open questions to the floor and ask people about to share their experiences and thoughts on things. You know, just because you could be questions like, how, like, you know, have you ever considered having a threesome? What would you do in like this situation, in this kind of roleplay, like, which would you prefer to be like seduced to be the seducer, that kind of stuff. And it kind of sets the tone and gets the mood going and gets people thinking. And, you know, like that, I think that is something that really helps. I think another one that’s really common is spend the bottle, I mean, people you spend the bottle of regular parties anyway. But in a slightly modified version, I spend the bottle. So you know, at the kind of house parties, you probably grew up in, grew up having college or something, you spend the bottle, and then you just kiss each other. And there’s not kind of that much negotiation of consent. But the ones I like to hold that to us, like we play spin the bottle, but you know, wherever the bottle points, the person who spun it goes, You know, I would like to do X activity. Is that something that that you would be interested in? And the person who, you know, the bottles pointing to goes, either Oh, yeah, no, I’d love to do that. Let’s do it. Or, actually, I prefer we did you know why activity instead, they do it. And I think that’s not only a good way to kind of set the tone, but also to open conversation about consent, and kind of set the set the tone for parties, I think that’s the most important thing. I think. A lot of people go to sex parties and think, you know, what if what if someone kind of touches me inappropriately? What if like, someone, you know, does something I don’t want them to do, etc. And I think like having that in place, and, you know, emphasizing the importance of consent and constant communication, is the difference between a good sex party and a bad sex party, in my opinion,

Dan 13:22
I love that. And I love that spin the bottle, because, but it leads me into wondering, and maybe that the way you’ve described, it avoids it as being an issue because I always have the concern. When I’ve when I’ve hosted parties, not necessarily straight up sex parties, but play parties, any kind of party is the person that shows up that when somebody spins the bottle, and they pointed that person, everybody’s like, geez, you know, of course. Right? There’s somebody spin the bottle, and it points at me, and they’re like, No, you know, you don’t really my anything, anything that’s, you know, do you have, as a party organizer, what is your responsibility there? If somebody shows up? Who either they’re unskillful? Or they’re just not attractive to the people that are there? Or do you have any responsibility, there’s no math, whatever, that for you? Well,

Unknown Speaker 14:18
I think at larger events that might be more difficult to control. But then again, if at larger events, you have more options, so you know, if you don’t vibe with one crowd, you just move to another, right. Whereas at the kind of smaller events that I’ve organized, like I said, before, you know, all my ones have been kind of among friends and partners and that kind of thing. And so everyone knows each other, everyone gets along. And you know, everyone, even if you don’t want to, like have sex with someone, but you are at least kind of physically comfortable with them, in some sense. There’s not really kind of animosity. And also another thing that I like to consider for kind of small gatherings, is I like to make sure that every person who is attending has at least two potential options. That’s Find a detail that I like to personally, kind of make sure to make sure that everyone has a good time. And yeah, this is just kind of just kind of basic party hosting type things, right? You know, you have when you’re organizing, like a regular kind of dinner party, you sometimes think about Oh, like, at the dinner table, like, who should sit next to him and whatever, you know, you kind of orchestrate that. So it’s kind of similar. I’m just in a different context.

Dan 15:23
So and so it does not extend to our and not just generally have you ever been is, as an organizer been in a situation where you’ve thought, Oh, man, look at Lisa’s here. And I know she wants to get laid, but nobody’s interested in her. Hey, Phil, would you mind bone? And Lisa, you know, trying to be a good party host, right?

Unknown Speaker 15:44
No, I wouldn’t go that far. Because at the end of the day, like, you know, I do my best, obviously, to make sure that there’s like, kind of options and chemistry, but at the end of day, if someone’s like, too anxious, or if someone just doesn’t want to, if they just don’t vibe with the people there on the night, you know, it’s kind of not my place to tell someone, hey, you should go and bone that person. So, you know, they feel more comfortable, I feel more comfortable. I don’t feel that’s right, personally.

Dan 16:10
Have you ever? And of course, all this conversation, you’re allowed to say none of your damn business? Have you ever approached anyone? And I thought, yeah, and the reason I asked that is I believe that many of our, maybe not our listeners, but General, at least from what I’ve seen on some of the groups that I’m on, people have this assumption that a female bodied human being shopping, showing up at a sex party is just going to have to beat people off. Everybody wants to dance with them, where male bodied people are going to get, you know, they’re, they’ll, they’ll have to stand in line. And we have a lot of, you know, lady, whether it’s legitimate or not, there is some pushback on up not enough, no more single males are allowed at this party. So, is that anything like the case? Or does it not happen that way at all? And you say you have had, or you’ve chosen to approach people?

Unknown Speaker 17:09
Oh, yeah. Like, they’ve definitely, I will admit that, like, there is that kind of bias, you know, as a female bodied person, you know, I probably get more options, you know, I’m, you know, I can get away with kind of more kind of aggressive rotation, compared to, you know, if I was a man, but I have been rejected at sex parties. But I think one incident that comes to mind is like, I hit on a couple at an orgy, because we were talking, and, you know, they were both very attractive. And I said as much, you know, I said it, I said, Oh, you know, like, I like, I find, I find you both really attractive. And, you know, I feel like we’ve got something good going, like is a, you know, what might you be interested in kind of joining me upstairs, you know, where the bedrooms were later. And this couple were like, Oh, actually, where we’re not actually planning on kind of having sex with anyone else tonight, we actually kind of, I think they’re quite new to the scene. And basically, what they wanted to do was kind of have sex with each other around other people, but you know, kind of look but not touch. I think in some circles, that’s called like, soft swinging or something. Well, not quite soft swinging, something like that. And, which is like, and here’s another thing, right, which is, I think, even if you don’t want to have sex with anyone, I think it’s a really good opportunity to kind of satisfy any kind of exhibitionism kink that you have. And I think, I think that’s something that people quite people don’t think about. Because you go just exploiting, you’re like, Oh, my God, I need to get laid, I need to find someone to pair up. But actually, that doesn’t have to be the case, you can absolutely have fun on your own, just kind of enjoying kind of your sensuality in that space. And because like in that kind of environment, it’s you know, there are people of all body types, walking around, just being comfortable in your own skin. And it creates a really empowering atmosphere, no matter what you look like. And actually, I’ve found personally that, like, orgies have had a surprisingly wholesome atmosphere. Because of that, I think everyone’s just really, really just confident, or, you know, they’re able to kind of put on a different persona just for one night and kind of try that out and try out different roles and try different things and do things that they might have never done, would never even consider doing and not the spaces. But back to your question about kind of approaching people.

Unknown Speaker 19:28
Yeah, I mean,

Unknown Speaker 19:31
like, yeah, people approached me and I approached them and it’s some it’s, it’s sometimes it’s a kind of direct kind of thing. Sometimes it’s more of a like, kind of slow gravitational pull, and then you’re kind of like, you know, you know, I mean, um, but I think people are also because of the kind of consent stuff that gets set up, but the beginning at least that the well organized ones I’ve attended. People are also cautious and I think that’s a good thing. I think Pick people, at the ones I’ve does a very, very good party I went to once where basically, they had a blacklist. So not only did they kind of vet people who attended, but they also had a blacklist, basically, if anyone has ever said anything bad about you, or as pertains to kind of sex and consent, and that kind of thing, you will never be invited to this party ever. And so everyone who attends is kind of you know, they go through the process. And everyone also knows how strict The rules are. And they know that if they do one tiny misstep, they get kicked out immediately. And so because of that, everyone’s very kind of careful and open and honest and communicative. And so it kind of makes things easier that way. Because, you know, you kind of don’t want to go into that gray area of Oh, I’ll just kind of move closer and kind of slide my hand or put my hand on the cheek and see what happened. Like, you don’t want to you don’t want to do that. You don’t want to do that. You don’t try that at all. And so yeah, that’s kind of back to the concert thing. And that’s why it’s so important. Because you don’t want to have any, any shred of a doubt, especially in a group situation.

Unknown Speaker 21:07

dawn 21:07
So I’ve got the question that I always ask when it comes to sex, because I would love to be part of orgies. I would love to be part of all this stuff, you know, multiple people when just free flowing sex and you know, things like that. But I have a huge fear of STI. So safer sex, how is that covered? You know, in an orgy? Do people just talk is it automatically assumed are people vetted ahead of time with test paperwork? Or, you know, how far does it go?

Unknown Speaker 21:41
So, for the smaller gatherings, I think if this is easier to do, obviously, you know, ask everyone to send the test results, and you know, positive or negative, whatever. And I think another thing is to kind of provide condoms, or dental dams or gloves or whatever, at parties, like I know, like the the ones that the really good one I attended. There were literally condoms strewn all over the floor, like you could not miss them. You just walk into your room, and they’ll just be like, 40 condoms, like, on a bed. And you know, I remember like, we were in kind of like a pile. And then there was someone across the room who was just like, hey, someone Chuck me a condom, and someone comes in and just like throw it. You know, like there, sir. And it you having that kind of, like visual reminder. Means, you know, people people are people have no excuse, like, you can’t make the excuse of Oh, you know, kind of feels better that way. Like, no, they’re right, that go get one. But yeah, so like, I think like, you know, that kind of safety is, like, if you make it really easy for people, they will have no excuse. Um, but I mean, otherwise, like, if, if, if it’s kind of important to you, definitely kind of bring it up in conversation. And usually, you know, like, people will be ready to answer questions on if they’re not, then, you know, you probably wouldn’t want to interact with them anyway. Right, right. Yeah. So, yeah, that’s kind of another thing that people cover. But I think on a larger scale, you know, it’d be definitely be more difficult to kind of get results from everyone and that kind of thing. So it’s kind of, it’s more about kind of standing up for yourself in that situation. Okay,

dawn 23:25
cool, if that makes sense. Yep.

Dan 23:27
All right. Got one more question for if you don’t mind. I’m gonna go ahead and host a sex party. Why the? Damn, someone’s got washed the dog. What is the one rookie mistake that you would say don’t do this? I know. I mean, the obvious one don’t serve chili. Is that too obvious? Yeah, I’ve

Unknown Speaker 23:56
covered quite a few things already. But I think one I think I’ve missed is kind of like food and drink. And yeah, definitely don’t serve kind of flaming hot Cheetos. Which you because the dust gets all your fingers and it gets messy. So I would not recommend kind of any kind of sticky fruits or like things that crumble and whatever. I think fruit is a good idea. You know, I think actually I think you know, because usually these bodies last for quite a while people would quite like the refreshment and just kind of i don’t i don’t know my fridge is the only one that comes to mind but you know not not kind of biscuits something like that. Um, but yeah, like don’t don’t serve any food that will stick to your hands and possibly you know, go into other people at you know, a

dawn 24:44
later time. No icing on the fingers. No, sir. Yes,

Unknown Speaker 24:48

Dan 24:52
I have one more question for you actually. When you say biscuits. Do you mean cookies? Oh, yeah.

Unknown Speaker 24:58
Like Yeah, like Crack rock is whatever you call them. Yep.

dawn 25:02
I learned that on the great. What is it British baking British baking Bake Off? Because biscuits are like, here, you know they’re there, but

Dan 25:14
they’re not. Yeah. So Leanne, thank you very much bland can be found at the pilot philia blog. How do I find the poly philia? blog?

Unknown Speaker 25:26
Sure. So you can find me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram at the same username Polly philia blog, that’s PLYPHIABOG. And I also have a website at poly philia blog.wordpress.com. And I also have a shop on redbubble, poly philia shop where you can find various polyamory merchandise.

Dan 25:46
Very cool. Alright, so hang out with us for a little bit as we wrap this thing up on you. It was we talked about at the beginning of the show, when you’re not attending sex parties, you are presenting a lot of classes and stuff I do as well, what do you got coming up.

dawn 26:03
So I only listed one thing coming up because we have a huge list on I just sent the newsletter out a couple of days ago, which has the whole list of all of our classes on fetlife. Under our name, Dan and Dawn, you can find our whole list or under my name danza, Ronnie, you can find the whole list. But the next thing that we have coming up, I mean, I’ve got some Eros gathering stuff coming up in the next couple days, which is sacred sexuality and energy work. But we are also presenting for a group in Southern California on March 14. So that is this Sunday, and we’re doing creating a powerful power exchange relationship. And

Dan 26:42
where’s this group located?

dawn 26:43
So in Southern California, now, it’s on zoom, you can find the link under our name. So Dan and Don,

Dan 26:51
I do miss the traveling.

dawn 26:54
I do miss the traveling as well. But it is still really neat to make a cup of coffee, jump into my office, have my beautiful tapestry behind me in my office and log on. And there’s people from all over all over. So they’re so I’ve met people from Austria, and Sweden and all kinds of stuff. It’s really awesome.

Dan 27:16
Very cool. Very cool. The reason God doesn’t have to mention all of these things, and if you don’t like me, too, that’s absolutely one of them. But also because you can find out about them if you subscribe to the erotic awakening newsletter. It’s another way and actually it’s just another way that you can you it’s just a little thank you to be honest when you subscribe to the newsletter. It makes us feel good to say Oh look, there’s somebody else on the newsletter.

dawn 27:43
We had someone unsubscribe today but that’s okay because we have so many people subscribing It’s amazing.

Dan 27:51
Awesome. People like Jennifer from California

dawn 27:53
wild kitten from California

Unknown Speaker 27:55
Christy from Kentucky, Miss Bonnie from Melbourne, Australia. Sara from Chicago,

dawn 27:59
Melissa from Dayton. Eric from West Virginia Kat from Texas. Andy from Kansas. Melissa from Indiana, Ruth from here

Dan 28:09
in Ohio

dawn 28:10
and gizelle I think I said that right from Indiana

Dan 28:14
head over to erotic marketing.com and get your E a shout out sign up for the occasional newsletter get latest podcast news bla bla bla bla bla bla. So Don, when you were a young Can you ever have one of those little interactive books?

dawn 28:31
Oh, like a choose your own story.

Dan 28:33
Leanne, you are a younger than us human being that’s fair to say. And I know you talk on your blog about what it’s like to be a younger person in poly the world of polyamory. So do you know all right have you ever been Have you have occurred across these Choose Your Own Adventure books?

Unknown Speaker 28:53
Oh, like like goosebumps

dawn 28:56
is goosebumps like that? You know, I bought my kids the whole collection and I don’t know if they’re like that. Is it where you get to like cart in the store. It

Dan 29:03
is as you open? Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 29:04
you flip to a page and stuff.

Dan 29:06
So what it is for people that aren’t familiar with it, you might have this book and you open the book and it says john walks up to the dungeon should he if you want him to open the door, go to page 12 but if you want to run like a coward, go to page 14. And you can choose your own adventure.

dawn 29:26
Like Dungeons and Dragons or kinky dungeon. Well, he joins us he runs away screaming that’s that’s kinda telling.

Dan 29:36
Either way, it’s not much of a book after page 14. JOHN lives his life and isn’t a counted story anyway. Hey, we

dawn 29:46
know an accountant. Nevermind.

Dan 29:48
The reason I bring this up this interactive book is because Joanna angel who has been on the show a long time ago.

dawn 29:56
Oh yeah, that was a long time ago.

Dan 29:58
She just published a new interactive book about someone named Naomi and you can navigate Naomi through the day shifts of her job at the strip club. And it’s the same thing. It’s an interactive book where you get to pick should Naomi do a private dance for her x, or something else. She did her first music scene be to jazz, or should it be to Bebop or whatever. Those are not legitimate. Those are not real selection.

dawn 30:32
There’s a real long lines. Awesome.

Dan 30:35
Just really neat. This idea of interactive adventure,

dawn 30:39
this book just came out to didn’t it

Dan 30:41
just just came out. We have not a chance to get too deep into it ourselves. But I just love the idea of it navigating Naomi through things and making choices.

dawn 30:51
Well, then you can read the book more than once, because you can choose different things.

Dan 30:53
Oh, that’s a great pot. Great. Yeah.

dawn 30:55
Yeah. So you don’t like how this one went? This time you go back, read it and choose something else.

Dan 31:01
So that book is called club 42 by joanna Angel, a old time guest and friend of the podcast. Awesome. So I see that Lance that you are still here. We are going to ask you to participate in pulling of the Kickstarter cards. And we warned you that these are random before we got started. So you

dawn 31:22
might show up. Let me pull out the directions again. All right. Pick some

Dan 31:28
Yes. Okay. All right. So Leann one, two or three? Three. Okay. So here’s one. Here’s two. Here’s three. Don, I’ll take number one. What do you got?

dawn 31:41
Okay, so number one, is the implement of a feather.

Dan 31:47
I have done some scenes with a feather. People kind of assume I am more leaning towards the kinky BDSM paddle type stuff. I’ve certainly included some feathers, especially ostrich feathers, which are particularly long. not a huge fan. To be honest, though. It’s something that I’ll play with. Not a big deal. Not a big fan.

dawn 32:08
Yeah. Not a big fan. Okay, cool. You know, not so much, though. I will say, uh, wait, I can’t call him that name on the show anymore. Someone that I play with? We there was, we were at a huge hotel event. There was no equipment left in any of the dungeons. So we sat in the social area and just went through the deck of cards. And we got to feather and I’m like, Nick, not really interested. And he whispered in my ear, which I won’t share what he would do with said feather. You can leave that in the deck. We’ll see if that comes comes to fruition

Dan 32:46
yet ever play with a feather anything does anything for you?

Unknown Speaker 32:49
Oh, yeah. I have not had it used on me, but I have used it on someone else. And I kind of like to contrast it with impact play. So yeah, so I kind of use a use a Flogger or something and then kind of while it’s kind of still stinking, stinking kind of go over it gently with a feather just so there’s a little bit of sensation. So yeah, I kind of like playing with kind of both the same time, but I think the feather on its own to me would be a bit boring.

Dan 33:14
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. That works for me, dog.

dawn 33:18

Dan 33:19
So before I tell you what yours is, it might be modified because I don’t know if you’ve had chance for dinner yet.

dawn 33:25
I have had dinner.

Dan 33:26
Okay. All right. They won’t want to fight then. So Don, how do you feel about whipped cream honey or syrups?

dawn 33:33
A there are. there okay. I’m not much into adding flavors. I like the flavor of skin and what it is that I’m supposed to be tasting. What about you?

Dan 33:51
I have an I’m trying to remember if it was you that did this. knows. I’ve definitely had whipped cream shot onto me and then licked off but I don’t recall it being particularly anything.

dawn 34:07
Yeah, it’s an extra thing. I’d rather have my concentration on the thing to concentrate concentrating on whipped creams extra. It’s like you have to make sure you got the can and you got to shoot the thing and then it’s all about the external instead of

Dan 34:23
Oh, I don’t know. I don’t know. I have certainly eaten bananas off people and it’s super sensual and super sexy. That is true. So maybe I just maybe I need to revisit my whipped cream skills.

dawn 34:35
Okay, not on not on up here. Yeah, not down there. It’s sugar. Yeah, sugar. So yeah, do you like whipped cream at all?

Unknown Speaker 34:49
Like so I do regarding kind of specifically whipped cream. A honey syrups. Definitely not to because I think those are very kind of sticky substances and I don’t really care for them that much. But I have kind of drunk things like off of like various parts of someone’s body. So you know, kind of the dip in someone’s collarbone kind of, I kind of poured kind of liquors and that kind of thing in that and kind of like sipped it or kind of licked it off that kind of surface, because it creates a little kind of indent, little kind of mini bowl on someone’s body. And I like to play with that kind of thing, or kind of the smaller someone’s back. That’s another good place. But yeah, that kind of I like to play with more with kind of less, I guess viscous liquids. Yeah, is the term. So yeah, that’s kind of my take on food play about regarding them up. And I’ve actually done that reminded me of a an orgy that my partner went to which I did not attend. This was a New Year’s Eve party. Okay, about two years ago, I think. And basically, at that event, like the kind of, I think, had a kind of opening ceremony, he told me about this, and I thought it was completely ridiculous. But about it, well, there are photos, so it’s true. And basically, they are one of one of the hosts of the event, like she laid down on a long, long table. And she was covered in fruit, you know, great strawberries, whatever, her whole body. And basically, she invited everyone to eat the fruit of her without using their hands. And it was a very, I wasn’t there for this, but apparently it was it was very fun. Very interesting.

dawn 36:27
I had done that with someone before I was at a kinco de Mio I think it was and I know exactly who it was. And because I knew who it was, you know that that’s what made it really interesting. And she was covered in fruit. And I remember looking off pineapple off of her nipples.

Dan 36:46
I have no. So this is really hard sounding right now. Maybe there’s a particular fetish about God, I’m gonna have to use the word cannibalism because I can’t remember the actual name of the fetish where you can you eat food off people as if you’re eating the person. Boy, that doesn’t sound hot at all. Anyway, but we’ve got a

dawn 37:13
fetish. Okay, so we have an implement for Leann.

Dan 37:18
The toy you never leave your house, you never leave at home.

dawn 37:23
Or you never leave at home? to your home, you see, and

Dan 37:28
and in this context, I assume that the card is suggesting impact play spanking that kind of thing, but only with hands versus paddles or something.

dawn 37:40
Huh? Um,

Unknown Speaker 37:43
I don’t I don’t know about that. I prefer kind of using using paddles and other things. I feel like you can be more creative and also. So I tend to take a more kind of dominant role in BDSM situations. And the truth is, because I the truth behind that is because I don’t have a high tolerance for pain at all. And it’s a bit ironic, because obviously, like, you know, if if I if someone was doing to me what I had done to them, like I would absolutely not be able to take it. And that’s kind of the irony. But yeah, that’s why I don’t like using my hand because it probably ends up hurting me more than the other person.

Dan 38:24
Totally down with that. I’m very much similar in that I. If I catch myself on the backswing of a Flogger, I’m like

dawn 38:34
I’m the only submissive in this bunch. And I love the hand being used on me. It’s very sensual. It’s very personable. And and you can you can do a few things with a hand. That must

Dan 38:46
be how it got in the deck, then

dawn 38:47
probably so I chose some of the cards.

Dan 38:50
We have a really cool question coming up, which we’re gonna actually I was going to we were going to talk about this today and talk about discrete play more than just toys. But it’s actually going to be a topic instead of just a throwaway question on the podcast. I’m gonna hold it off on to that. And that came up, I think as a result of the new discord channel.

dawn 39:13
Yeah. So we tried the kik channel, and we’ve got like,

Dan 39:19
five or six or seven people regular, and we have 80 or 90 bots that

dawn 39:24
we have to pick out every day. Yeah. So and so it was a suggestion and we tried it but it’s not really working. So Dan created the discord channel yesterday. Yep. And there’s already so much conversation on there. It’s fantastic. So I we use discord with a couple of other groups that we attend. But this one is pretty neat. And if you’re a Patreon supporter, there’s extra chat rooms that only Patreon supporters get into. So

Dan 39:54
that’s kind of neat. So we will release that information in another week or two or still update it to Snoop Dogg in the bugs out. I don’t want to moderate huge groups. Right. I have friends that have conversations,

dawn 40:07
right. And that’s what we’re that’s what? Yep.

Dan 40:10
And just getting close to wrapping this thing up. It just so happens that

dawn 40:15
Oh, you remembered to put this on here. Okay. Yes. Cool. So I tried to say someone’s name for an EAA shout out a couple of weeks back, and it seems that Dan butchered it, and then I tried to fix it and butchered it as well. So the person’s name is nia. Okay, let me try this. Nia, my you niyama. You Yeah, my Oh, so awesome. So thanks for pointing that out.

Dan 40:39
And thanks for for pronouncing the Pronunciation Guide.

dawn 40:42
Exactly. So we do have a little bit of tentacles and food on boobs. But um, it’s actually really kind of weird in that the tentacles that I have my sister linked me too it on Facebook. So I have Yeah, I have people that are kinky on my vanilla Facebook. And they’re very, very cool. But every once in a while, they’ll link me to like a knit octopus hat, or an octopus chandelier or something. And they won’t say anything because they know I like tentacle sex. Right? So they won’t say anything. But the link me to these little things. So people like my sister and my mother in law have picked up that I like tentacles. So now they send me links to crocheted hats and aprons. My daughter in law has even bought me tea towels with octopuses on them. And it’s like, Oh, you guys have no clue. And it’s like so anyway, my sister sent me this link, this beautiful crocheted hat. So

Dan 41:46
take that hat. And apparently I’ve got cupcakes on boobs

dawn 41:50
you do and it came in right before I went for my salt float. So you need to go to discord and look at the cupcakes on boobs.

Dan 42:00
I was just on Discord. Oh God,

dawn 42:01
are you it’s there,

Dan 42:02
it will start taking all of these tentacles and food on boobs and other cool things people sent us and start posting them in the Nazi fourth image part of discord. Buddy,

dawn 42:14
cool. We also have an Instagram I did post. Oh, we didn’t talk about this because I was sick last week. So Dan, and I actually hit our 20th coloring anniversary. So on Instagram, I made a little picture of what we looked like 20 years ago at our coloring and what we look like now 20 years later, so it’s really cool. So yeah, we just hit 20 years and we’ve got stuff to talk about about that. So we’re actually working on a another power exchange book. We’ll see how that goes.

Dan 42:47
Lots of other stuff that we’re going to be talking about in the next couple of podcasts. Folks, I took my motorcycle ride out for the first time today. I meant to as I was getting nicer out you are doing the salt flow things which people want to know about. And all kinds of cool stuff coming up. But that’s not today. Spot podcasts radio, podcast, Google Play Stitcher, Spotify, YouTube. Wherever you listen, or just tell your friends if you like what we’re doing over to patreon.com slash Radhika take a look at the options content.

dawn 43:33
So our next zoom meeting we will have information going out to our Patreon supporters. That is next week I believe so

Dan 43:43
I can’t we just put our Patreon people yes it will get expanded. crucified talked about on the podcast.

dawn 43:53
Probably should. That was fun. Anyway, I’ll try again. But I can find the



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