hearts and collars cover

Hearts & Collars

Twenty Years in a Power Exchange Relationships

When we started our power exchange relationship, we didn’t have many models for it. We didn’t know people in the lifestyle. We hadn’t tried this type of relationship before. We both came into it with emotional burdens and trauma. And in spite of that, we were able to consciously design a power exchange relationship that helps us both grow, brings us closer emotionally, helps us heal some of those hurts, and fulfills our deep desires.

The tools we share in this book are ones that have worked for us over the last twenty years. We hope some of them will help you avoid pitfalls we stumbled into. Some of them may be right for you, or for your partner(s), and some of them may not. Like going clothes shopping, we invite you to try everything on; and if it doesn’t fit, leave it on the rack.

If there’s one thing we hope you take away from this book, it’s this: whoever you are, whatever you’ve been through, you have the ability to reflect, and grow, and become the person you want to be. Although it does take work, unflinching honesty with yourself, and compatible partner(s), it is possible to create relationships that hold you up, and help you thrive. We did it. So can you.

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    Sample Content from the Book

    The First Tool – Polyamory

      From 'The Polyamory Toolkit" by Dan Williams and Dawn Williams (2019)   TOOL #1 - DEVELOPING YOUR WHY   Dan says…   I can certainly recall more than once shaking my head and wondering "Why am I even bothering with this poly thing!?" The first...

    Self Publishing – Next Power Exchange Book – Turning our Polyam books into audiobooks

    Self Publishing - Next Power Exchange Book - Turning our Polyam books into audiobooks   Eleven years ago when we had 'Living M/s' published.....self-publishing was complicated and not common. We had thought of self-publishing, but a publisher reached out to us...

    Team Polyamory

    We just got a request to review a textbook writing on Relationship Anarchy and had to turn them down. Basically, we know what Relationship Anarchy is, but it's not how we do polyamory. As a matter of fact, we'll be writing a class soon on 'Team Polyamory'. I'm not...

    The Polyamory Toolkit

    When Dan and I got together in 1999, we decided that we were going to design our own relationship. We had no interest in being monogamous. We had no idea what that meant, as we didn’t know of anyone that lived that way. Not only were we going to be ok with each other...

    How To Meet People

      Exert from The Polyamory Toolkit   Some would say that being polyamorous isn’t about the number of partners you have; that you can be in a two person relationship or even single and not dating anyone and still identify as polyamorous. And although I agree with...

    When you have communication disconnects, try Porch Time

    I used to have some less than nice thoughts about one of my partners partners. I thought they were slimy at best. But my partner loved this person, so was I supposed to share it? Stuff it? How would feel if someone told me that my choice in a romantic partner was...

    Fair vs Equal

    One year, Karen and I took a five day cruise for vacation. It was great! Being able to unwind, a very lax agenda, room service, romantic meals by moonlight, just a fantastic experience. When we returned, Dawn was happy to see me and, after letting me go on about what...

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