When we started our power exchange relationship, we didn’t have many models for it. We didn’t know people in the lifestyle. We hadn’t tried this type of relationship before. We both came into it with emotional burdens and trauma. And in spite of that, we were able to consciously design a power exchange relationship that helps us both grow, brings us closer emotionally, helps us heal some of those hurts, and fulfills our deep desires.

The tools we share in this book are ones that have worked for us over the last twenty years. We hope some of them will help you avoid pitfalls we stumbled into. Some of them may be right for you, or for your partner(s), and some of them may not. Like going clothes shopping, we invite you to try everything on; and if it doesn’t fit, leave it on the rack.

If there’s one thing we hope you take away from this book, it’s this: whoever you are, whatever you’ve been through, you have the ability to reflect, and grow, and become the person you want to be. Although it does take work, unflinching honesty with yourself, and compatible partner(s), it is possible to create relationships that hold you up, and help you thrive. We did it. So can you.