EA578 – Sexual Anxiety

by | Aug 26, 2021 | Podcast | 0 comments

Do you ever suffer from sexual anxiety? Ever wondered what to do about it? On this episode Dan talks to Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent about how to have a stress-free sexual experience and some of the main issues that cause anxiety. From having the confidence in themselves spoiled by the body standards of pornography, being a beginner at sex and having reservations towards trying out new things with their partner (sometimes it’s just a matter of effective communication) to coming to terms with decreased performance and attractiveness as they age. Some have trouble with the fact that intimacy really does require you to be vulnerable, but a lot of people just don’t realize just how natural sex is, and often have restrictions or guilt due to religious beliefs. Jeff also gives tips on several types of products that can be used to improve your sex life. Listen now to find out how to transform your outlook on sex and benefit from making it an easy experience despite any issues or preconceptions. 

 

Follow Jeff on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jeffabraham111/

Follow Jeff on Twitter https://twitter.com/jeffabraham111 

Visit Promescent for great sex products: https://www.promescent.com/

Transcript

 

Dawn 01:26
Welcome to Erotic Awakening, an exploration of all things erotic. If you are offended by adult topics or prohibited by law, we recommend you stop listening right now!

Dan 01:36
That was very authoritative.

Dawn 01:39
I try…

Dan 01:40
The Erotic Awakening Podcast is grateful to the supporters of our patrons. They are going to receive ad-free early access podcast, as well as other perks!

Dawn 01:50
So thank you to our supporters!

Dan 01:53
New and old alike.

Dawn 01:55
Exactly.

Dan 01:55
Hi Dawn!

Dawn 01:56
Hi Dan.

Dan 01:57
So today on the podcast, we are indeed, we are going to be talking about sexual anxiety. Uh, it just so happens that our conversation will be with Jeff, who is the CEO of Promescent, who happens to be one of our sponsors at the moment. And although I might have, and I’m not saying I did, I might’ve agreed to talk to him simply because he was the CEO of one of our sponsors, but genuinely good information, good background to talk about sexual anxiety. Um, and I really enjoyed the conversation.

Dawn 02:28
Good! Cause not a lot of people will actually talk about a topic like that, right? Sex is fun and sex is great and who has anxiety over sex? Right? So good topic!

Dan 02:38
So before we get to that though, I have a question about anxiety for you. So Dawn, I’ve heard that since you and I have been in a relationship, according to you anyway, you’ve had more sex with people that are not me then you had your total life before you met me.

Dawn 03:04
Oh, absolutely. I have dated way more since, since marrying you then my whole life before you.

Dan 03:13
So when you meet somebody that you’re getting ready and that you think you’re going to have sex with, right? The chances are you’re meeting somebody with the intent or with the, the, the strong possibility sex is going to be on the table, sex is going to be coming. What kind of preconceptions are, do you have coming into contact with that person? What do you think about what do you… and what I would say, what do you. I don’t know why I would use the word worry per se.

Dawn 03:41
Oh, you know me, I worry.

Dan 03:43
But what do you, what are your preconceptions about what it’s going to be like in, and that kind of thing?

Dawn 03:48
That’s kind of funny because you know, I have you and I have, uh, the Big D of eight years, but have I, wow, In the last few years I’ve been so busy. Have I actually had sex with other people?

Dan 04:03
I can think of a couple.

Dawn 04:04
I can think of one. That is not you or Big D.

Dan 04:08
Okay. I apparently, I listened to the stories more than you. Remember the stories. What about when you and Big D invited somebody to join you?

Dawn 04:17
Oh, that’s true. Okay. That happened once at a swing club.

Dan 04:21
What about when you asked, uh, you put it out there on the old FetLife to say, “Boy I could sure go for a fisting!” I don’t remember if you were the receiver or the giver on that one.

Dawn 04:29
Oh, that was the giver. That was a long time ago though! That was like 10 years ago!

Dan 04:33
No, it just happened yesterday.

Dawn 04:35
In your head, in your dreams…

Dan 04:38
and you forget about, or you don’t forget about, but don’t forget about, um, although it’s mainly a BDSM relationship, would you consider the relationship with Kaia as sexual?

Dawn 04:52
Sure. But I don’t have preconceived stuff when it’s another girl.

Dan 04:57
That’s interesting just to start with. So when you’re going to hook up with another girl, there’s no preconceived…?

Dawn 05:04
Nah, not really.

Dan 05:06
But with a guy?

Dawn 05:07
Absolutely.

Dan 05:08
What’s that? What the dealio?

Dawn 05:10
Because with a girl I don’t worry so much about, I don’t have to worry so much about safer sex. Right? Cause there’s a lot of hand stuff and things like that. So the sexual contact is just different. Whereas with the guy I have preconceived notions about, or preconceived worries or whatever about condoms, I have worries of, are they gonna be okay with using condoms?
They have to be okay with using condoms to have sex with me. But a lot of guys, especially as they get older, condoms don’t allow for them to perform as well, right? So it cuts down on their sensitivity or, or, or whatever. So I worry for them about performance anxiety, and stage fright. Right? I worry about, um, am I gonna get wet enough? There’s a lot of times I do. Sometimes I don’t I’m in my fifties now, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Uh, I worry about. Oh, my God. I worry about weird shit. Like I am getting older. My knees don’t work so well, my back doesn’t work so well. I can remember being with Big D and both of us having back issues, which means you move very, very slow. So when I negotiate with somebody new I let them know I have a bad back. Please don’t flip me over, please don’t walk me. You’ve had that with me before where you’ve gone and just like, thrown me over a couch. And I’m like, oh my back. So, you know, so I have age related things. I have safer sex related things I have, um, you know, I actually have what if I’m too much for them? I feel like I’m a passionate person, so I can actually come on too strong sometimes. And the things that I like to do, what if that offends somebody? You know, me and not wanting to offend people, right? That’s one of my classic themes. And so stuff like that.

Dan 07:17
Wow. I really opened a Pandora’s box here!

Dawn 07:19
Yeah. Well, I didn’t think I had anything until I started talking. The other thing is, is that I’m really finding out that I’m a demisexual. right? So I just posted on Facebook FetLife. I mean, I just posted on FetLife cause we just interviewed somebody and she said, “Oh, finding guys to fuck is easy. You know that.” And I just texted or put out on FetLife, someone just said that it’s easy to find a guy to fuck. Well, I guess it is, but being a demisexual just throws a complication into, you know, what I have to deal with looking for somebody to fuck. Demisexual means I need to have a connection with them. So I worry about that. Is that connection that I think I have with them going to carry over into the sex? Right? So…

Dan 08:09
Alright, ask me the same question.

Dawn 08:11
Ask you the same question? I don’t even remember what the question is now. Okay. Do you Dan have sexual anxiety when it comes to fucking new people?

Dan 08:20
Nah. Let’s go on. No, I will say in the past. No, way, way less concerns than you do, I think. When I am about to have sex with another guy for the first time, I often wonder what’s going on. I don’t have sex with guys. So that doesn’t happen very often. Although I recently had a dream that I had sex with a guy and it was a famous guy too.

Dawn 08:49
Oh yeah? Maybe Antonio?

Dan 08:51
No. It wasn’t Antonio Banderas.

Dawn 08:53
Not your style?

Dan 08:55
I don’t know what, I don’t have a style. I don’t like guys so.

Dawn 08:57
So far, yet.

Dan 08:59
Maybe there are dreams telling me, anyway, maybe it was a premonition? I dunno. The… Now, I will say for the most part, most of my youth, most, uh, you know, it was will I last long enough? I’ve never been concerned about my dick size.

Dawn 09:17
Shouldn’t be.

Dan 09:18
Uh, overall size. Sometimes it bends more than I, you know, it bends more than… it’s bendy.
It’s a bendy dick! Um, so I don’t worry about that so much. I used to worry about how long would I last long enough. Um, but I think over the years, my own personal style of lovemaking reflects that I have taken it to heart that the… my penis is not the only aspect of sex so I have that conversation with a new partner beforehand just to clear that up to say, look, my dick is not going to be the star of the show, you know. It may be included. And the reality is the first couple of times I’m with a new sexual partner, I’m not likely to put my dick in them anyway. It’s just my right. It’s just weird sort of humanoid that I am. Um, I don’t really… Now, like yourself I’ve got long-term poly partners at this point. Haven’t had sex with a new person in that, you know, been a little while. But I really don’t have a lot of preconceived notions because I don’t go from zero to 60, right? There’s always this,

Dawn 10:38
You do emotionally sometimes, but not physically. I would throw that out there. I think you go emotionally zero to 60 sometimes. Or at least it looks like it from the side.

Dan 10:50
I think because you and I haven’t now where you haven’t yet to explore the swinging thing skillfully. That’s how I’ll say it. Is when I, when I do have a sexual partner, we build a relationship first. So I don’t have sexual partners that I’m not compatible with.

Dawn 11:10
See, that’s demisexual.

Dan 11:11
Oh, okay. I don’t care. But I build that compatibility with that somebody first. So I know that, you know, they’re going to like the things I like and that kind of thing. If they are into porn fucking, which is just slam bam bam bam for long periods of time, I can, I can parse that out before and say, well, I’m not that guy. That’s not what we’re going to be doing if that’s what you dig, great, but you need to dig it with somebody else. Um, so I really don’t have a lot of concerns going into it. Now, all that being said, if I was doing… see the funny, if I did pick up play, you know, for sex, would I have concerns or would it be like, well, I don’t know this person anyway, so fuck it! On the other hand, you know?

Dawn 11:58
Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know. So.

Dan 12:03
Fortunately. I mean, there’s a lot of… that’s our trip, right? Uh, like I said later into the podcast, we’ll be talking about anxiety.

Dawn 12:10
We just did some self therapy on that. So…

Dan 12:11
You did! You got some issues, baby.

Dawn 12:14
Do I now?

Dan 12:15
Apparently you think a lot about…

Dawn 12:17
I think a lot anyway, I’m a thinker. I’m a thinker.

Dan 12:21
And I’m having dreams about guys. So, yes.

Dawn 12:23
And I’m worried for the other people, it’s not just worried about me. It’s worried for the other people.

Dan 12:28
That it won’t meet their expectations.

Dawn 12:29
Right. Yeah, yeah. That it won’t meet their expectations.

Dan 12:34
See, that used to be a big thing for me. And, um, but so much of the shit is programmed in. I’ve been fortunate that I’ve had a lot of partners that have said that’s bullshit. Don’t worry about that. What we are doing is what I want, you know, and whether I am, um, I don’t know whether I last a short amount of time or a long amount of time. Well, I take that back. One of my very, very, very first partners said, “Wow that’s it?” Right, so that carries.

Dawn 13:07
Ohhh, that carries weight. Wow.

Dan 13:09
Yeah. I had forgotten about that. Oh man.

Dawn 13:13
Gee, thanks for bringing that up.

Dan 13:14
We are gonna need therapy after this one. Uh, but before we get into any more therapy, I do want to mention, thank you to babylove. Who mentioned that their partner was willing to do some tech support with us. They reminded me that we’ve actually met them at the Kinky College, which apparently we’re going to again, if it actually happens this time. You never know with the way things are, but it looks like it’s going to happen. So if they are at Kinky College, then babylove I will totally thank you for the offer of tech support in person. And also I will point out that yes, uh, yes to someone’s comments out on the Discord, they mentioned that yeah, last week’s show number 577, did sound a little different on the audio. It’s funny. I don’t remember if they said it sounded like we were in a cave. I felt like we were like, we were in a cave, but we were using, there was the it’s the natural sound of the RV without the acoustical accompaniments of the microphones that we currently use.

Dawn 14:10
Exactly. So that was our YouTube show, right? Yeah. So it’s going to sound a little different.

Dan 14:15
But no big deal, tight? Um, we will, I am, I was, so we did an interview recently with somebody who said I sent microphones to my guest so that they sound good. And I was like, wow that’s pretty smart.

Dawn 14:29
That’s pretty smart. Except I’m the one that’s going to have to mail the microphones. That means I have to find post offices in each little town we’re in.

Dan 14:37
That’s true, but I am an audio…

Dawn 14:40
Audiophile…

Dan 14:42
I guess. I do take, I don’t know about anybody else, but I can’t listen to like those… What is it? Um, there’s one podcasting service out there where it’s free but you dial in on your phone and you just call and it sounds like…

Dawn 15:01
Oh it sounds like a call. Yeah. And we’ve got some of that on some of our past shows. It is what it is.

Dan 15:08
Somebody’s gonna pull out episode 104 and say “You mean like this crap?” Other than that…

Dawn 15:14
So for the people that have made it through that and up to episode 570 some, perseverance.

Dan 15:21
Perseverance. Absolutely. So with that, we’re going to get into our interview, do you want to mention real quickly, uh, out on the Discord. Uh, thank you for somebody that shared a picture of their corgi. Uh, sometimes we talk about stuff that’s not sex. And sometimes we talk about our pets. Somebody had mentioned, we had mentioned one of the challenges that we have with living in the RV is that we’re a little concerned that Ginger, the poly puppy might get out. And, uh, it looks like stattenf mentioned there’s these, uh, GPS pet trackers that you can get.

Dawn 15:54
It’s called whisper something and…

Dan 15:56
Whisper or whistle?

Dawn 15:58
Whistle, yeah, whistle. So I thought I was gonna remember the name of it from here to there and I do not, it is whistle something and of course I’ve lost it again. There it is, it is literally called Whistle. whistle.com

Dan 16:11
And, and there was some curiosity if could I put that GPS tracker on a wayward submissive and use that to track them?

Dawn 16:19
That would be fun. Oh, cause I just had this vision of a slave hunt. We’ve done it, that’s happened at a pagan event before where we had the wild hunt. And man, like I said, I’m in my fifties now I’m going to break something in the dark, in the woods.

Dan 16:37
We did that in Texas with the witch hunt in Texas. That was pretty cool.

Dawn 16:41
Yeah, that was cool. That was hot. That’s in our book. We talk about that in our book, um, Sex Stories And Power Exchange.

Dan 16:49
Well, now people know that’s real.

Dawn 16:50
They do, well, people know a couple of the ones that are real.

Dan 16:54
All right. Onto the interview. But first, uh, really quickly, I do want to thank you to Caiabe for sending me some chocolate sauce with sprinkles on boobs, my favorite way to eat chocolate sauce and sprinkles.

Dawn 17:04
Indeed. So, and, um, Peachy, so we got our tattoos mixed up last week. So you were talking about the one that was the multiple women from Basano’s and I was talking about the one that kind of looks Quente from Peachy. So that one’s hot too. And we may have talked about that one a little bit, cause I think we were saying it would be hard for us to actually put tattoos on us that the grandkids couldn’t see. And that one was very erotic.

Dan 17:34
That one was very erotic. I’m not going to hide that one too well.

Dawn 17:40
Naughty, naughty. And then we had somebody. Oh, I know something. See, we’ve got Discord and Instagram and Twitter and Facebook and FetLife and all these things. And sometimes it’s hard to keep track of who sends what where, but I think it was on Instagram,
someone sent me a TikTok and it’s a TikTok on Instagram. So I bet it was And Sam Wall. So, so he sends me a lot of TikTok stuff on there. And it talks about the TikTok he sent me talks about it, oh, shoot. I forget the name that they use. Is it like cretins or something like that, but that sounds slightly wrong where they talk about like Bigfoot and the Lochness monster and things like that. And this one also talked about the Kraken, so that was kind of cool. So, yeah. So thank you for thinking of me. Awesome.

Dan 18:39
So in this particular time, when I’m doing this interview, there is a lot of anxiety out there in the world. There is some kind of a pandemic, there’s people who haven’t left their house in over a year, going back into the wild. There’s so much turmoil that creates anxiety in our life, but we’ve always had anxiety around intimacy. Fortunately for me today, we have Jeff Abraham, the CEO of Promescent talking with us about eliminating that anxiety in intimacy. Thanks for joining us, Jeff.

Jeff 19:16
Pleasure to be here. Thanks for having me on.

Dan 19:18
I would have to say I was amazed. I have not covered this topic before on the podcast because intimacy by nature requires us to be very vulnerable and very well, hell, just the vulnerability of taking your clothes off with somebody for the first time is a huge deal for some people, right?

Jeff 19:41
Correct.

Dan 19:42
So, and then you’ve got all this other stuff going on as a doesn’t matter if you’re a male bodied person or a female bodied person, or even non-binary, we are programmed to have
anxiety around sexuality. From a male perspective, uh, I’ll tell you Jeff, when I used to go to… When I was in high school, I would tell my friends I had a date and they would say, “Oh, how’d it go?” What they were really asking me was, “did you get any?” And if I responded by saying, “oh, it was nice. She’s a nice girl.” They would translate that to, oh, you didn’t get any, you’re such a loser, right?

Jeff 20:27
Yeah. Your friends were more politically correct than mine. My friends just went, “Did you get any?” They didn’t even start with how to go, just go right to the direct point.

Dan 20:36
So we built this, this anxiety into, into all this and all the jokes about sex and all that kind of stuff. So where do we start with eliminating some of this anxiety and intimacy?

Jeff 20:50
I think it starts in, in two different ways. Number one, and I’ll address them. There are opposite ends of the spectrum. Number one, I think a lot of anxiety that exists in people that have just come into their sexual awakening, say they’re 40 or under in the last 20 years.
They are most likely to have watched porn prior to having sex. I’m just thankful that I didn’t have to do that. So that the first time I had sex I didn’t have a vision that the average erect penis was 10 inches long, had the girth of a beer can. And you thrusted for 50 minutes and then right before ejaculation you got up, ran across the room and shot somebody in the forehead from 40 yards away, okay? So, you know, when I was fumbling and bumbling idiot, and I was, I thought, Hey, I’m a pretty good lover. Cause I didn’t have to compare myself to watching Johnny Sins and you know, all the, uh, adult porn stars. That’s number one. Number two, I think that a lot of times people make sex out to be some religious experience.
And it’s a bodily function. It’s the same thing as eating and urinating. It’s you get an urge. Sometimes you’re hungry. You eat. Sometimes you feel a pressure, your bladder, you have to urinate, you get horny and you want to have a release. You want to have sex. It’s not a religious experience. Now that’s not to say you should go out and be promiscuous and screw every person and have unprotected sex on planet earth. But you should dial it back a little bit and realize that sex is natural, that it’s a bodily function, that if you’re with a partner who consents and you’re both very comfortable that it’s okay to do it and that you should communicate and have dialogue. Find out what they like, tell them what you like and meet somewhere in the middle. I think a lot of the anxiety comes from the unknowing and having apprehension because you don’t communicate.

Dan 22:35
Yeah, and I totally agree with that, but you know, we, we say that, oh, you should just have a communication, but that’s not as easy as it sounds, right?

Jeff 22:44
No, for a lot of people it’s unbelievably difficult.

Dan 22:47
So, how do you have that conversation? Right? How do you, how do you begin to broach that subject, right? I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s hard enough just to say, yeah, I would like to have sex with you and not worry about, oh man, now I have offended you, and now I’m going to get canceled and all this other, you know, negative connotations that go with that.
But even, but then to go into something like I’d like you to spank me, or I want to, you know, I’d love a blow job right now.

Jeff 23:14
Yeah. I think though it comes from knowing the person you’re with. And knowing that you’ve developed hopefully some level of trust and understanding before you get to that point. So if the person’s obviously a complete stranger, you don’t know. But you know, I know for me that generally when I’m intimate with someone, because I’ve gotten to know them a little bit and I do have an idea, you know? You’re not going to say, Hey, can I go down on you with this double-sided dildo? And you have no idea whatsoever and the person might go, “What?” you know? It’s like, I think it’s a very good idea to, you know, communicate, get to know someone and maybe ask them, you know, what do you find pleasurable? What not, you know, what’s, you know, uh, what turns you on, you know, those kinds of things. You know, you have to have an aura about you that puts a person at ease that they can trust you, you know? I think a lot of times the uncertainty in the anxiety comes that if you don’t trust one another, it’s like, oh my God, I can’t do that. What if people find out or, you know, I can’t do that. You know, maybe he’ll think I’m a bad person. I always like to tell women that I date that I don’t judge wherever you’ve been prior, I don’t care. You know, I care about the present, where we’re at right now. And I want to know, and I’m a little bit older, I’m 64. I want to know what makes a woman gives her pleasure. I want to be that person because you get a lot of kudos and you get a lot of compliments for being this great lover. If you really try to please your partner, but in reality, you’re being selfish because the more you please, someone, the more you get pleased, the more a woman finds pleasure, the more intense or orgasm, the more focused she is on making sure she keeps that man happy and in her life. So I always tell people to be open, be honest and communicate. And you’ll get to a point where you both are trying very hard to please one another, because it’s a good relationship.

Dan 25:07
But, but what about when that intimacy or what about that anxiety is something due to. A programmed response because of a physical attribute? So for example, maybe you’ve got a, less than normal, maybe you got a small dick, right? Relatively based on the average. And you know what going all the way back I did watch a porn. That was my first experience with sex. And it just so happened that it started John Holmes, which for our young listeners doesn’t mean anything. But for, for your, or my age group, you know, we know that is the monster…

Jeff 25:46
We know exactly who John Holmes was. The wad. Johnny Wad Holmes.

Dan 25:49
Yeah and not who you want to compare yourself to, right? But if you, but if you do have. Is it just a matter is that same communication to say, “Hey baby, just so happens I have a less than normal sized” or for the female’s perspective, right, I don’t come easily, whatever it is.

Jeff 26:09
Yeah. Well, what I would say to be honest with you is, you know, I’m not hung like a race horse. I’m a pretty average dude. And sometimes because of what I do for a living running this company, I have to tell people, “Hey, if you’re expecting, you know, uh, Seattle slew here, you might get the wrong guy.” But I literally say to people, you know, I’m a normal guy, but I have an array of vibrators. I obviously have a ray of toys and lotions and everything else. My goal is to give you pleasure and it can be with vaginal penetration. It can be with digital penetration, it can be cunnilingus. It could be with a wider range of vibrators.
At this point in my life. I’m just into pleasing my partner. And you know, you look at studies and you find that 40% of women can never, you know, orgasm with vaginal penetration. So get over the fact that, you know, one of the things that’s interesting to me when we first started this company, which was 11 years ago, we read this poll by Cosmo, I think they average asked like a thousand men, what would really give you better sex? And I think 78% of men said a bigger dick and they asked a thousand women, you know, what would give you, you know, better. And I think 72% of women said if my partner lasted longer. So it just shows you that guys get all caught up in dick size, okay? I don’t, unless you have been castrated, you can work with what you have, but be a creative lover, be an innovative lover and, you know, use oral sex use, you know, uh, toys use vibrators use whatever it takes to get your partner off. And you may find that your partner has stronger orgasms in other ways, other than vaginal penetration.

Dan 27:53
Have you done any, and it may be it’s too early to even answer this question, but, and maybe this is a theory that we’re going to talk about. What do you think the post COVID world is going to look like from a sex perspective? And what I mean by that? It’s not just, you know, we we’re opening the door on swing clubs and that kind of thing, but just general human beings have a higher level of anxiety in general. Is that gonna translate to the bedroom? Do you think? Or do you think that’s not separate?

Jeff 28:25
No, separate. The behavior doesn’t change like that. There were so many people, even some people that are very sensitive to COVID, you know, and wear masks and everything else, they might be a little more selective and go, “I want to make sure my partner has been vaccinated. I’ve been vaccinated and you know, we’re both careful”, but our sales thrive during COVID. They continue to thrive, you know, as things opened up now, things are starting to close down a little bit more. They’re still thriving. The urge to procreate is so strong, nothing is slowing that down. Nothing. Okay? Unless they find out that having sex, you know, is a pandemic itself and can kill you. Trust me, the pandemic is not going to slow peace. They may have less partners, but they’re not going to have less sex.

Dan 29:11
Very cool. Do you think, um, do you ever get pushback and I’m going to roll back on something you said earlier about sex. It’s, don’t make too much out of it, it’s not a religious experience. Do you ever get pushback on that? Where people say, you know what I do believe sex is a sacred thing. It’s a sacred thing between two people. Then it should be maybe not a religious experience, but certainly a significant experience?

Jeff 29:35
Well, no, I I’m all for that. If that’s what you believe, then, then certainly run with it. I’m talking about the hang ups that people have that, you know, women thinking I shouldn’t be with more than one guy my entire life and it’s causing anxiety. You know what I mean? Guys thinking that, you know, oh, um, uh, you know, I’m not supposed to have sex until marriage.
I’m doing something wrong, you know? There are certain religions that literally say you should only have sex to procreate. You know, you shouldn’t be having sex for enjoyment. That’s insane! Okay? I mean, that’s literally crazy, but I’m not telling one don’t do it, but you brought it up in the context of people having anxiety. So I’m not saying I’m all for anyone doing whatever it is that works for them. But we were talking about the context of things that bring anxiety and from what I do for a living and talk to people all day. I know, there’s a lot of people I deal with that we talk about, you know, some of the issues they’re having and they bring up that, well, this isn’t supposed to be done in my religion. You know what I mean? And according to my religion, I shouldn’t be having sex unless it’s to create life. And I’m like, whoa, that’s a little harsh, you know? Nah. Uh, so I was answering that. I’m all for anyone if, if that’s what you believe and that’s what your religion tells you to do, and you’re comfortable with it. But we were talking about when anxiety is created through certain things, and I’ll be honest with you. I talk to people all day, every day and probably about 20% of people that I deal with that have anxiety. It has to do with the religion that they feel that they shouldn’t be doing according to their church or their religion.

Dan 31:21
I’m just going to, that’s terrible, but that’s my personal opinion. It’s super unfortunate that religion is causing people that much anguish.

Jeff 31:31
Oh, it’s I believe that religion should be about reducing anxiety making you feel good about your life. You know, and you know, I remember a couple of years ago, well, it was actually 2012, I saw the Pope in Africa saying that it was a sin and that people were true Catholics would not use. You know, condoms because you know, they don’t believe in birth control that the Lord tells you, you know, when you deliver children and everything and I’m like, there’s a fricking, you know, aids epidemic. There’s one of every seven people in Africa dying of aids and you have the Pope telling people not to use condoms.
I’m like, that’s insane! Okay? That is just not, it’s not practical and it’s not safe. It’s not, it’s not really sensible, you know?

Dan 32:16
You’re not going to get disagreement out of me.

Jeff 32:20
Yeah. So I think that the sooner we realize that sex is natural, sex is comfortable, sex makes you feel good. Having climax and orgasm is something that, you know, reduces stress in your life and really truly gives you a feeling of euphoria. There’s one thing we need in this world. It’s more of a feeling of euphoria and less anxiety and less angst and less, you know, combative nature of people.

Dan 32:49
I’m all for that. Do you ever get, do you ever get people, you, you, you know, obviously you talk to a lot of people and you talked a lot of people that are dealing with the anxiety. Do you get people that you see the light bulb go off? And, and if so, what is that most common key that you’ve said, well, did you think about this or have you tried this or that kind of thing?

Jeff 33:13
For me when I get a response and it’s positive is generally when somebody, literally, we have a conversation. I tell them, you know, talk to your partner and they’ll email me back or call me back or text me back and go, you’re not going to believe it. He wanted some of the same things I did or she wanted some of the same things I did. We just didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell one another. So that to me has been the biggest breakthrough when people literally feel comfortable enough to communicate with their partner.

Dan 33:42
Oh, that is, and that’s fantastic. And we’ve had that same experience, hearing that from people. And especially if you’re in a long-term committed, loving relationship, even if the other… there’s so much power in being able to just be able to speak your, speak, your truth.

Jeff 33:58
Yes.

Dan 33:59
Even if the other person says, you know what, that’s not for me, but I hear you.

Jeff 34:04
Yeah. And it’s not to say that every time you bring something up, the person’s going to go oh we want exactly the same thing. It’s like you said, there may be times where the other person literally says, “You know, that’s just not something I’m comfortable with.” That’s perfectly fine, but you have to put it out there to find out and at least, you know, and you feel better about, that’s just not something that they’re comfortable with, but at least, you know, rather than suffering in silence and going, man, I wish I had the courage to bring this up. Cause I’d really like to do this.

Dan 34:31
Very cool. So one more question for you, if you don’t mind, and it is a personal question.

Jeff 34:38
Absolutely, fire away.

Dan 34:40
So as you’ve mentioned, you’ve been the CEO of a company for 11 years now, which is all about sex and everything you need to have amazing sex and all this great stuff, right? Do you get a lot of perhaps suggestions that… Do you have women falling all over you? That’s really what I’m getting to.

Jeff 35:06
You know, I don’t really give out that vibe because I’m 64 and you know, I’ve never been married, so I’ve had a pretty colorful life and I’m at the point in my life now where I don’t want to have intimacy with a lot of different people because I don’t have time to know a lot of people superficially. So. There are times where, you know, you do get hit on, especially like when you do podcasts and you do radio shows and you know, you go to events and you go to shows and stuff that people literally make it clear that, oh, I’d really like to find out, you know, I’ve heard you talk and you’re really fascinating, but I just very quickly shut that down because I’m in a committed relationship. And at this point in my life, I don’t want to know that many people superficially and I don’t have… Like you said, it’s vulnerability and it’s awkward the first time you’re really getting undressed with someone and finding out what each other likes. I can’t wait and hopefully it’ll be in the next couple of years when I really get that feeling like this is the person I’m spending the rest of my life with. So, if I would have had this job in my twenties, trust me, I would have taken full advantage of it. Okay? But at my age, energy level and everything, right now, I don’t have time nor the energy to have multiple partners. And, um, I really gravitate towards having a significant relationship with someone I care for and developing a high level of confidence and a high level of trust so we can both kind of live out our fantasies and do what it is that makes us feel good.

Dan 36:39
Does it bother you if people flirt with you?

Jeff 36:43
No. I find it… Sometimes I wonder, cause I’m not exactly Brad Pitt’s. I mean, I find it enticing, but I’m like, God, they must be really bored if I’m their dream guy, you know? But I, I think anyone would be flattered, you know? You usually are, if somebody makes it real obvious, they find you attractive and I kind of laugh at it, but you know, in reality, you’re an image. You know what I mean? When you have a public persona and no matter what it’s like when you watch the bachelor and all my God I’m proposing, I found my dream gal. Well, don’t go to dinner in the rose bowl where they have a string quartet playing and it’s you and one other person in a hundred thousand square foot stadium. You know what I mean? Having dinner, you find out when you’re really compatible and if there’s something there when the two of you are together for a week, you know, and just doing regular things, going to, you know, uh, target and, you know, going to whole foods and, you know, working out together. That’s when you find out if you really have chemistry and if you have connection with someone. So when I see someone that doesn’t really know me, flirting with me, I laugh because they don’t know me. It’s like some image saying, oh my God, this guy’s a CEO of this progressive successful company. He must have this, you know, rockstar lifestyle. Far from it. I’m very conservative. I enjoy the simple things in life. And if anyone thinks that hanging out with me is going to be flying around on charter jets or anything like that, they’re going to be sadly mistaken. I fly Southwest, you know?

Dan 38:11
Fair enough. Well, if somebody did want to flirt with you or get a hold of you for any other reason to find out more about you or about your company, or have you come out to their events, how would they get a hold of you?

Jeff 38:22
The best way, I’ll give you a couple of different ways. My email is Jeff J E F F dot Abraham, A B R A H A M. Jeff dot Abraham at promescent P R O M E S C E N T @promescent.com. You know, you can look me up on Facebook. I’m very prominent. It’s Jeff Abraham, I think 111. And on Twitter. It’s JeffAbraham111 on Instagram I think it’s Jeff Abraham. I think it’s 111. I’m pretty consistent there. I answer all emails. I interact with everybody. I think one of the keys, whether it’s you want to last longer in bed, use Promescent Spray. You want to have more vitality and better erections, you want to use VitaFLUX. You want to use lubes,
you want to use condoms. We have a whole medical advisory board that includes the president of the International Society of Sexual Medicine. The president of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America. No matter what question you asked me, if I can’t answer it myself, I have the resources to go find those answers for you. But the best thing to do, if you want to educate yourself is go to promescent.com, that’s P R O M E S C E N T promescent dot com because they have clinical trials on our products there, They have descriptions on our products, they show how to use the products. They show that certain products were available, like our Delay Spray at Target or certain Walmarts.
Uh, all of our products were available nationwide at GNC now. So you’ll be able to go, “Which products am I interested in?” Here’s research to talk about them. There’s actually videos where doctors tell you the advantages of them, the benefits of using them, and it’ll also show you if you want to pick it up yourself and not wait for it to be shipped, where to go pick it up immediately. But if you order it from our site, it’s free shipping. It’s generally two days, depending upon where you’re located from, we have a full 60 day money back guarantee. So we’re very aggressive in customer satisfaction. I want people to feel like we bring value to them.

Dan 40:18
Very cool! And podcast listeners should be listening to the podcast and making sure that they grab their discount coupon before they head over there. Why not save yourself a little bit more money? Jeff, it has been a pleasure to talk to you today. I figured out when I grow up, I want to be somebody like you, got their shit together.

Jeff 40:40
And my point is don’t ever grow up, growing up sucks! Stay young and stay useful, you know what I mean? Just try to live a little more freely. That’s what I tell people. Cause I’m 64, I’m never growing up. I, I made it to this point without ever being a grown up. I’m not starting now.

Dan 40:53
Makes sense to me. Thanks a lot, Jeff.

Jeff 40:55
But thank you. I really appreciate this.

Dan 40:59
Take a moment to support the podcast.

Dawn 41:02
Rate us on Apple Podcast, Google Play, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

Dan 41:09
Or head over to YouTube and rate us over there, wherever you watch.

Dawn 41:13
Or just tell your friends.

Dan 41:15
We appreciate the interactions, the comments, the emails, feel free to reach out to us either via Discord, Facebook, Instagram, or just write us dananddawn@eroticawakening.com.

Dawn 41:32
Bye Dan.

Dan 41:33
Bye Dawn.

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