This week Dan and Dawn try out a heating gel from Promescent. Dan rubs it in on Dawn real good and she describes how it feels and gives her honest review of it.
Then they welcome Venus Cuckoldress, a blogger and podcaster specializing in cuckolding to talk about and explain what is cuckolding and some of the key terms involved with it. She details her experience being introduced to cuckolding, the meaning of how “humiliation” is used in cuckolding in a non degrading way, some of the feelings of arousal and jealousy that takes place during it and explains why she sees herself still committed to that lifestyle when she’s 72 years old. Listen to the episode to learn about the sexy world of cuckolding and to find out the meaning of terms like bull, hotwifing, BBC, queen of spades and much more.
Try out Promescent’s Warming Female Arousal Gel: https://www.promescent.com/products/female-arousal-gel
Visit Venus’ website: https://venuscuckoldress.com/
Follow Venus on Twitter: https://twitter.com/cuckoldressv
Check out Venus’ cuckolding matchmaking site: https://venusconnections.com/
Transcript
Dan [00:00:54]
Hi Dawn.
Dawn [00:00:55]
Hi Dan.
Dan [00:00:56]
So a weird little thing going on today. So first off you may notice that our voices sound a little bit different. We are using our new lapel mics.
Dawn [00:01:05]
Yep. Gonna give them a try, see how it works so that we don’t have the bulkiness of the headset, but I am kind of curious how our voices are going to sound because I still do turn and look at you, which has me turning away from the lapel mic.
Dan [00:01:18]
Yes, but they are omnidirectional. The other interesting part is that we are both wearing shirts so that our lapel mics work, but we’re not, but we are not wearing pants because, uh, we are going to be trying out some heating gel live on the podcast. And this will be a, this is the Promescent heating gel, but we have never tried this one before.
Dawn [00:01:40]
No, no, we’ve, we’ve never tried this one. So it’ll be an experience.
Dan [00:01:44]
It will be an experience.
Dawn [00:01:45]
I just I love the picture that people must have right now of us wearing shirts, but not pants. And, um, it’s not the first time we’ve actually been on, whoa, what were we doing? We were doing a Zoom call for somebody and you had to leave the RV during the class to go grab something because we were running out of power. So you had to put your pants on to leave the RV and then when you came back, you took your pants back off for the Zoom call. I think it was a high protocol.
Dan [00:02:14]
I think it wasn’t a high protocol call. And then after we, uh, try out the heating gel, we have a fantastic interview with Venus Cuckoldress and she is going to tell us all about cuckolding, and bulls and all the other aspects of it.
Dawn [00:02:30]
You know, it’s really weird. But, um, I was talking to our friends that we’re mooch docking off of right now. And I was telling them how I switched my location to Lexington because, you know, we’re, we’re kind of near there and I had about 10 people friend, me, and they’re all bulls and, and, and the friend was like, oh, it’s because you did this cuckold interview. I’m like, yeah, we did the interview. We haven’t posted it.
Dan [00:02:57]
Right. Nobody knows about it yet.
Dawn [00:02:58]
Nobody knows about it yet. So I’m not exactly sure what is new in my thing that has bulls reaching out to me, not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s just curious.
Dan [00:03:11]
Uh, but before, so before we break out the heating gel, Dawn just really quickly, um, our Discord, uh, channel, uh. So last week we were talking about whistle, which is a GPS for dogs. And you could use it for wayward slaves, we suggested.
Dawn [00:03:29]
Right.
Dan [00:03:29]
Uh, Stattenf says that they are using a GPS pet tracker on slave M. So, uh, somebody who’s actually using it in a relationship format.
Dawn [00:03:39]
Nice. I kind of liked that idea. I like you knowing I’m where I’m at. So, yeah, I think it’s neat. A lot of people in a egalitarian relationships would be like, oh my God, I can’t believe he’s got a tracker on me. He must not trust me. And for me in my power exchange relationship, it’s like, oh my God, I hope he’s got a tracker on me so that he knows he can trust me. It’s just a slightly flip.
Dan [00:04:03]
Yep, absolutely. And also, uh, just because we had the conversation, somebody sent us a very cute picture of their corgi. So we’re always down for cute animals.
Dawn [00:04:15]
Indeed, but we like the tentacles and the food on boobs as well. So I’ve got a couple of tentacle pictures. We’ve got uh, Reverend Danny smite, so sent a pic of a woman having her panties stripped off by tentacles. She was like, like straddling two rocks over waves coming in and tentacles were coming up and stripping off her panties. That was hot. That’s my kind of tentacles. And then Lucian, a friend of ours out of central Ohio sent, um, the wine, decaner, right? So no room in the RV for that and tentacle earrings, which I’ve had before. And I don’t think they showed up with us. I don’t think they followed us to the RV.
Dan [00:04:59]
They did not.
Dawn [00:05:00]
So, but these other ones were purple. So I might have to.
Dan [00:05:05]
And finally on the, I should say finally, before we get into the heating gel and then our interview, but, uh, We on the old Instagram recently posted a picture of the new tire cover that Goddammit Adams sent us.
Dawn [00:05:20]
Goddammit Adam!
Dan [00:05:22]
It is a “We sleep around” tire cover and it’s got a little RV on it, which, uh, suggested that perhaps we just sleep around in the,
Dawn [00:05:32]
Because we drive around in an RV.
Dan [00:05:34]
Yes. But I did hashtag Flamingo, hashtag pineapples,
Dawn [00:05:38]
And RV life, hashtag RV life.
Dan [00:05:41]
At some point now we’re not too far away from actually starting a, just a blog of our RV adventures. It’s just going to be a little side thing for fun. Um, but we will, we will let you O podcast listeners know about its existence once it’s out there in case you’re interested in the, in the kinky RV lifestyle, whatever that’s going to look like. So Dawn here in my hand, I have a packet of a Promescent warming gel. It is supposedly fast acting, lasts up to 25 minutes and hormone free. Now, when I say supposedly fast-acting, let’s find out. You are currently laying on a bed in front of me with your beautiful vagina looking at me, and we both have our lapel microphone, so we can actually do this in real time as they say. So I am going to open this thing up.
Dawn [00:06:33]
which is easy enough to do.
Dan [00:06:35]
Doesn’t smell like anything and putting this little glob on my fingers there and putting some warming gel on your vagina.
Dawn [00:06:46]
Does it say how much to use?
Dan [00:06:48]
Nah, I’m just going to put some on there.
Dawn [00:06:50]
Cool. And you, you really spread it on there too.
Dan [00:06:53]
I did spread it on there.
Dan [00:06:56]
My clit, and it’s already starting to work.
Dan [00:06:59]
I wonder if we really should target your clit? Well, that’s an interesting look on your face. Something going on there?
Dawn [00:07:06]
It is definitely warming up.
Dan [00:07:08]
Well, what’s it feel like?
Dawn [00:07:10]
Heat!
Dan [00:07:11]
Heat like bad. Like if somebody put a lighter up to your clit?
Dawn [00:07:15]
You mean like heat, like cinnamon oil? No. Heat like a lighter? From a distance. So, but definitely warming up. Are you planning on rubbing in there too to find out for yourself?
Dan [00:07:28]
Is it pleasant?
Dawn [00:07:29]
Yes. It’s different and pleasant. Absolutely. So, and I’m not usually one for like gels and stuff, so, but this is pretty cool.
Yeah.
Dan [00:07:42]
So what’s it feel like?
Dawn [00:07:43]
So it’s pretty awesome.
Dan [00:07:48]
You seem to be having a little trouble talking.
Dawn [00:07:50]
Well, that’s because you’re also stroking my clit at the same time.
Dan [00:07:54]
Just gotta rub it in there.
Dawn [00:07:57]
Yeah. Wow.
Dan [00:07:59]
So you’re feeling the heat?
Dawn [00:08:00]
I’m feeling the heat and it’s making everything more sensitive.
Dan [00:08:08]
So Dawn, have you ever thought about how cool it would be to watch me with another woman?
Dawn [00:08:14]
I’ve seen you with another woman more than once. So yes, yes. We’ve been doing this for 20 years. Yes, yes I have.
Dan [00:08:23]
I don’t know that I would enjoy seeing you with another guy at all.
Dawn [00:08:27]
I don’t think we’ve done that except for a blowjob.
Dan [00:08:32]
Well, that was very casual.
Dawn [00:08:32]
But you only partly watched that, yeah.
Dan [00:08:33]
That was very casula. But I, my understanding is there’s not only is it a kink and enjoyable for some people to, to watch other people with their husbands and wives and partners, but also there’s a thrill of the fact that, well, heck I don’t even know what it is. It’s something called cuckolding. It’s something I don’t know anything about, but fortunately for us tonight on the podcast, we have Venus from the venuscuckoldress.com and related podcast, who I assume knows all about it. Venus, welcome to the podcast.
Venus [00:09:11]
Thank you. Thanks you guys for having me on, I’m so excited to talk about cuckolding!
Dan [00:09:16]
Our pleasure! We are excited to learn more about it. So start me off with some of the language, because I don’t even know that I’m using the right language. Is it… start me off there.
Venus [00:09:29]
Yeah, sure. Sometimes I feel like the language changes often, so don’t feel bad if you know the language, but cuckolding yeah, cuckolding is, is, is where it’s like a one-sided open relation kinship where, uh, he’s faithful to her. She’s uh, you know, has sexual experiences with other guys and he loves it that way. She loves having that gift of sexual exploration that he gives her. And in turn, she gives him the gift of involving him in some way. And so there’s a lot of overlap between cuckolding and hotwifing people kind of they’re like, what’s the difference? Um, cuckolding is usually like some sort of, um, power exchange going on there or humiliation. I hate that word. It’s more like teasing, loving, teasing. And there’s a, there’s a huge spectrum along the line of cuckolding, so a lot out of it overlaps with, um, kind of BDSM stuff and a lot of it overlaps with hotwifing so yeah. That’s cuckolding in a nutshell.
Dan [00:10:38]
Well, let’s talk about the humiliation part for a moment. Cause you said you don’t like that word humiliation, but I was actually listening to an episode of your podcast, the Intoxicating Allure of Cuck Angst. And I won’t say that I got through the entire show, but certainly the way it was introduced, it sounded like humiliation was kind of what that person was digging or maybe I’m using the word different just straight up angst.
Venus [00:11:09]
Well, no, there is this element of humiliation in it, but it’s done in a loving way. And I think that’s the kind of key component that people miss when they just hear that word humiliation. They think of it as something that’s disrespectful and damaging in a relationship. And really it’s not in this kind of relationship when he really gets off on that part of it. And she loves seeing him react that way. So, um, it’s, it’s not necessarily something that’s really bad. It’s actually something that’s fun.
Dawn [00:11:43]
So, so I have a question with the difference between the cuckolding and the hotwife, because hotwife what I understand, like Dan does not want to watch me with another person, but he loves the stories if I come home from say a one night stand and I, you know, and I tell him what happened. So he likes that. Is that the difference between cuckolding and hot wife? Or am I missing something?
Venus [00:12:13]
Well, my sort of clarification between the two with hotwifing, um, he is mostly monogamous to her, I would say mostly because in most cases he is, and she sleeps with others and, um, but there’s no power exchange so he might be the one who decides who she sleeps with and makes the rules about that sort of thing. Whereas in cuckolding it’s all about her. She’s the one who makes those decisions about, you know, who she sees. She might involve her, her boyfriend or husband or whatever in that process. But ultimately it’s about her. Whereas with hot wifing, it seems to be a more equal process or even more emphasis on him.
Dawn [00:12:57]
Ooh. So, yeah, so that’s what we did a while back was the hotwifing, except Dan’s not monogamous to me. So that’s the only difference. Okay, cool. So, so another piece of language, I have more questions than I thought I did. Um, so another piece of language that I’ve come across recently on FetLife is bull. I’ve had ever since changing my FetLife profile to be in Kentucky because we’re full time RVing right now. So I changed my FetLife profile to reflect where I’m at and I changed it to Kentucky. I’ve got a lot of bulls trying to friend me. And is that a cuckolding term?
Venus [00:13:39]
Yeah, it is. Oh, that’s interesting Kentucky, huh?
Dawn [00:13:43]
Kentucky, I know!
Venus [00:13:45]
Apparently we all need to go there. Um, yeah. So, bull is a term for the other guy that the girlfriend or wife is sleeping with and, um, it could be just any guy. It could be, you know, he knows about the husband, maybe he doesn’t, it could be just like a one night stand. It could be an ongoing friends with benefits type of thing, or it could be a full on, on bull situation. And a bull is within cuckolding, a guy who really loves that role of being the bull, where there, he’s aware that there’s a cuckold, there’s a, a wife. And he knows all about that dynamic that goes on there and he knows how to manipulate that and, and sort of push people’s boundaries a little bit, um, in a way that’s friendly and safe and, and it’s a lot of fun when you actually get to know somebody who’s like a real bull and, and gets it and understands it. That’s when couples really kind of thrive in this kind of relationship. But yeah, any guy could be a bull. Um, they, but not everybody can, every guy can be like a real good understanding bull. Those are hard to find.
Dan [00:15:02]
Well, that leads me to wonder, you know, we, we talk about, I, obviously we would want to talk about the safer sex aspect to it, but is there a emotional safety aspect to it? Meaning that sometimes people meet, do the bulls ever like, wow, this isn’t just great sex, but I really dig this human?
Venus [00:15:26]
Well, yeah. I will say that in most of the cuckolding relationships that I know of, of the couples who I have met, there’s always, some aspects where it’s not just about the sex, it’s not just about the dick or whatever. It’s basically like a connection that you have with that person. It’s some it’s, you know, you’re, you feel lucky to have them in your life, that kind of thing. So it’s, it’s more a deeper kind of level than just someone to have sex with. And of course there are risks that come along with that. Um, and let’s not deny it. I mean, anytime, I mean, even monogamous couples, it’s still a risk that you fall in love with somebody else. Um, and it does happen in this lifestyle. It certainly does. And it, it, I think it’s important for couples and singles, bulls, to really understand that that is a possibility and to kind of be aware of the, I guess the red flag that would happen around that. And some couples really look for that. Some couples look for a bull who, you know, is their boyfriend, like he lives with them, like it’s a poly kind of thing. It’s not that common, but it does exist. So, but just knowing and understanding that yeah, it can be dangerous. It can be, um, kind of like playing with fire sometimes, but I find as a cuckoldress, it’s much more helpful if I can compartmentalize people in our life. Really understand and set that clear boundary between love and sex. And I think anyone who’s non-monogamous, um, understands how to do that, that’s kind of part of it. So, um, yeah, it’s definitely, I mean, it sucks when it happens when a marriage breaks down because, uh, you know, she falls in love with the bull or he falls in love with her, whatever it gets complicated, but I wouldn’t say it happens all that often.
Dawn [00:17:26]
Cool. So, so how long have you been doing this and how’d, you know, this was your thing?
Venus [00:17:36]
Okay. I didn’t know it was my thing. I didn’t know it was a thing for, so like, I didn’t know. Uh, I was like, what the fuck is this cuckolding thing? I was in a community as a unicorn for like a decade, had never heard of this cuckolding thing. Didn’t even know what the word meant and I had never come across it or even hotwifing. And then, um, I met a guy who introduced the idea to me and I was like, what the fuck are you serious? This sounds too good to be true. Because it was something that I had always wanted, but I thought there’s no fucking way I’m going to get a guy to sign up for this. Cause like in the swinging community, I was very familiar with this kind of equal partnership where there’s a lot of, you know, setting rules, boundaries and limits together and adjusting those as time goes by based on comfort levels and safety and all that sort of stuff, right? I knew that and I just didn’t want that. I wanted, this sounds so selfish, but I wanted to do whatever the fuck I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it with whoever I wanted to do with. And so I was like, I’m never going to find a guy to sign up for that. But yeah, when I found this guy and he was like, I want nothing more than to see you with lots of other guys. And I was like, really? And he’s like, I don’t, I said, you don’t want to sleep with other women. He’s like, Nope. And I was like, wow, this is weird. And then as time went by, I was like, wow, this is exactly what I wanted. And it was a huge learning experience for me. And yeah, that’s when I started blogging about it. Cause I was like, oh my God, I had no idea this existed. I’m fairly certain there’s a lot of other women out there who had no idea either and it might fit them really well. So I just started sharing my story and look, look where I am now.
Dan [00:19:43]
I’m listening to this and I’m like, you know, cause coming from the swinging world, you’re talking about how, you know, it’s a given that couples set rules and set boundaries and do what makes them feel comfortable and things like that. I’m like, oh, that, that don’t hold water in the poly world. People that don’t know of swinging and know of this, that blows their mind in the poly world, but it is a thing in the swinging world. And so it’s a one vagina policy instead of a one penis policy.
Dan [00:20:18]
That’s an interesting way to look at it.
Dawn [00:20:21]
I like it. Dan will never go for it.
Dan [00:20:24]
You were, you are you you’re being, you, you met the guy. So do you and this guy now, do you have an emotional attachment with each other or is it still just a play thing?
Venus [00:20:37]
No, it was a full on, I was head over heels for this guy and he was the same way towards me. And it was a real kind of like whirlwind kind of feeling because it was so thrilling and exciting and so fun to talk about it with each other. It was a really great time.
Dan [00:20:57]
Fantastic. Do you have trouble finding bulls or that third person or somebody that you know you and I don’t even know what the conversation sounds like, unless, I mean, if you’re in the swing community, maybe it’s not so hard, but I’m picturing you meet somebody at, I don’t know, a Taco Bell and say, Hey, you’re a good looking guy. This is my husband, this is my vagina. We want to have something happen. I don’t think he’d say it that way, but how do you have that conversation? How do you approach that and what kind of responses do you get?
Venus [00:21:31]
Yeah, you know, it’s not easy. It’s like for couples who’ve been married a long time and then they, you know, they’ve been monogamous and then they just decide they’re gonna ride this. It can be daunting because they’re like, I don’t even know where to start. Like how do I even bring this up or whatever? And so it can be really hard and awkward and a real learning experience, let me tell you. But I think that it is really, it’s super easy to find any guide to fuck. I mean, I mean, let’s face it it’s, that’s not difficult. Um, but I, it define a guy who really is open-minded to the situation of a cuckolding relationship is kind of rare. Like, um, most guys just don’t really understand it or they’re uncomfortable with it or they never heard of it before. So it is, it can be really difficult to find somebody who’s experienced like that and kinda knows what they’re doing. Um, but there’s you know, different ways that you can go out and find a bull, different wording that you use. You can just not use that word cuckolding. You just use a one side open relationship. You know, she’s allowed to have her fun. She has allowed to have her cake and eat it too. And so stuff like that is a bit more of a gentle approach than using bull or cuckold terminology that people might not understand.
Dan [00:22:57]
Is your preference, and now here we get into the, we started you with the soft ball like what’s a cucktress and all that. Now we’re getting into, I want to know about Venus specifically. Is your ideal erotic situation that, uh, Mr. Head-over-heels is in the room or would you, do you prefer them to be in the same building, but not in the room or he can stay at home while you’re off and you come home and tell him what’s going on?
Venus [00:23:28]
I think variety is key. Um, I don’t have like a, I don’t have like a certain favorite. I mean, there’s benefits and negatives to each one of them, but the whole telling him about it when you get home is so, I mean, you guys know you’ve done it, is so fun. Like, there’s something about that that’s just like, it’s exciting, it’s sexy. It’s hot as fuck. And I love that part so much, but there’s all this like, fun little send him a picture, you know, or letting him listen on the phone is also really fun because he can’t see what’s happening, he can only hear, and that’s exciting. Um, and then, you know, having him there and actually watching for safety perspective for women is really important. So, um, yeah, there’s, I think it’s, it depends on the situation, but variety is fun.
Dan [00:24:22]
Very cool.
Dawn [00:24:23]
Nice. Cause it is hot to come home and, uh, and, and straddle Dan, and then give him details. That gets hot.
Venus [00:24:33]
Hell yes. Yes, yes, absolutely. Sign me up. That’s just fun.
Dan [00:24:43]
I guess I’m going to ask you this one. Um, and this is a little more of a, a little more of a charged question, or maybe it’s not. I was gonna say maybe in Canada, uh, where you’re from, people are much more enlightened, but is… They, what do you think about, I’m just going to ask you, what do you think about the aspect? I see a lot of these posts about this, but specific specifying they want a BBC, a big black cock. What do you, is that part of, is that a fetish within itself? Is that just coincidental? Is that even, is that a thing, a subculture within the cuckolders culture?
Dawn [00:25:25]
We’ve had people come to the space and actually put on their name tags that they’re a BBC and want to be known as a BBC.
Dan [00:25:32]
What’s your view on all that?
Venus [00:25:37]
Yeah. You know what, um, I think that here in Canada, it’s really not like a big deal. Um, and many people never really heard of the terminology as far as like a queen of spades, who’s a woman who really likes black guys as a preference for sex.
Dawn [00:25:55]
Oh, that what’s that means? Okay.
Venus [00:25:59]
Yeah. Yeah. But I think in the United States, uh, it definitely is a charged subject and I’ve been learning a lot more about it lately because it’s been coming up in, in talks and conversations and stuff like that. But yeah, there seems to be, um, I don’t know. I don’t know why, but it does seem to be a big theme in cuckolding, sure. Not all cuckolding relationships include interracial cuckolding, but it is a big thing and it’s super popular. I would say out of all the episodes I’ve done, where it’s discussed, I’ve discussed, you know, interracial, stats go through the roof. I’m just like, okay, everybody apparently loves this. So, and then, yeah, you’ve got a lot of black guys who are, you know, right into it, like they love it. There was just an event in Florida that just happened this past weekend, which was, um, specifically for the cuckolding and hotwife couples. And it was just like a whole bunch of black guys for a hotel takeover. And like it’s like massively popular. Yeah. But yeah, it’s, it definitely is not every, um, cuckolding couple who’s into it. That’s for sure. I don’t know if that answered your question.
Dan [00:27:22]
Absolutely. Yeah. And, um, it’s just such a really interesting topic, uh, or at least around our parts, um, between what is, you know, if you want to only date Asian girls, is that a fetish or is that disrespectful or is that a preference, right? So it’s always great to hear other people’s view on it. So one more question for you, if you don’t mind, do you ever see a point where you, and now you’re, we’re going to call this guy from now on Mr. Head-over-heels say that was fun. That was cool, but it was just a kink. Now it’s time to settle down and be good little monogamous people and, and raise puppies and that kind of thing? Or do you see this more like, uh, when you’re sitting on your chairs, your rocking chairs at the end of the day saying, oh, it’s been a week. Let’s go find a bull.
Venus [00:28:29]
Yeah, I definitely could not go back to any other kind of relationship dynamic other than cuckolding. This really fits who I am. And so like, this is me, this is where I feel most authentic, most genuine and most comfortable. And so I don’t, yeah, I don’t think I could go back to that, um, I, yeah. No, it’s definitely going to be with me, I think forever.
Dawn [00:29:00]
No more vanilla.
Venus [00:29:00]
I can see like I’m 72 years old and still looking for bulls at 72, who knows?
Dan [00:29:08]
Very cool. Um, you’ve got a ton of more content about this topic out on your podcast, as well as all kinds of interesting things on your blog. Where can people find out more about you, Venus?
Venus [00:29:23]
Yeah. So venuscuckoldress.com is where you can find my blog, that, I mean, I’ve been writing for years. There’s a lot there, but also on that’s where you can find my podcast, the Venus Cuckoldress podcast. I’m also on Twitter, my handle is @cuckoldressv . I’m pretty active on Twitter and I’ve actually just like a week ago, launched a brand new matchmaking service for singles who are looking for loving cuckolding relationships and that’s called Venus Connection. So that’s that venusconnections.com
Dan [00:29:57]
Wow. I hope that sees a lot of traffic. It should answer a lot of questions for people on how to find people.
Dawn [00:30:04]
Which is a huge question, usually.
Venus [00:30:06]
Yes, absolutely.
Dan [00:30:07]
Venus, thank you very much. It’s been a pleasure to see the, have you on the show. I am already envious of your gear. We got to see you on video and I could see you taking the podcasting seriously. You’ve already your, your mic’s bigger than mine. I’m very upset about that, but that’s not important now. Thank you very much for being on the podcast tonight, Venus.
Venus [00:30:28]
Thank you.
Dan [00:30:30]
Take a moment to support the podcast. Rate us on Apple podcasts, Google play, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever you listen.
Dawn [00:30:38]
Or just tell your friends.
Dan [00:30:40]
If you like what we’re doing, let your friends know, like Dawn just said. Head over to Patreon, toss us a couple bucks. Or go to Discord and say what’s up, or whatever you feel like doing.
Dawn [00:30:55]
Bye, Dan.
Dan [00:30:56]
Bye, Dawn.
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