EA617 – BDSM & Disabilities

by | Jun 3, 2022 | Podcast | 0 comments

This week on the Erotic Awakening Podcast, @dananddawn are joined by @daddy_tyr to discuss challenges that differently abled people may have around BDSM!

Plus donuts to protect you from oversized penises and panties that are STD safe from @MyLorals

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Find all things Dan & dawn at https://www.eroticawakening.com/

Find Daddy Tyr on Fetlife at https://fetlife.com/users/3049043

Links to mentioned on show:

Mmm hashtags:

#differntlyabled #bdsm #fetish

Transcript

[0:04] This week on erotic Awakening BDSM with disabilities oh nuts and I don’t know welcome to erotic Awakening and exploration of all things erotic if you are offended by a dog.
So for hidden we recommend you stop listening right now.
You’re really quite good podcast is great for the support of our patreon community who receive add free Early Access to podcast.
Free ebooks and a whole lot more.
Thank you to all of our supporters the the patreon community and our newest supporter Domina Hecate,
Dawn hi Dan Dawn welcome Happy show number 617 nice how am I supposed to say happy show,
right and I’ve spent the last sixteen shoes for getting yeah I know so well we at 617 or over 600 we should probably be celebrating each and every one now.

[1:03] I’m all right with that it’s just a little the little horn tooting thing dude I was thinking a celebratory fun.
We can do that okay good as long as we go either way with so indeed today on the podcast we are welcoming back our friend daddy tear,
who is going to talk about and we’re going to talk today about BDSM and BDSM with disabilities and some of the complications and first off Daddy’s here thanks for coming back on the show oh you’re very welcome,
you didn’t learn the first time.
So I would like to start off with how we came across this topic why we decided to talk about this and that he’s here that’s very personal conversation for you is that right yes it is yes it is tell us about why.
Well December 3rd 2011.
I was on the way to my station I’m a retired fire medic and I was sitting at a red light.

[1:59] And now as I was waiting for the light to change a guy was texting and driving wasn’t paying attention is doing about 45 50 miles an hour and proceeded to put my trunk into my backseat.
I mean my passenger seat I ended up spending three days in a coma.
Long story short I fractured my neck it broke my back in a bunch of other things which left me a paraplegic.
So this was very unexpected and it was unfortunately,
it changed my life completely but the way I look at it is you know one door closes and another one opens.

[2:47] I don’t know that I would be that chill no philosophical about that but what was your life from a BDSM perspective what was your life before the accident
we already involved I know the answer is because you’ve been around forever but you’re already involved in kinky stuff and doing a lot of topping and that kind of thing,
yes I was I’ve been in the lifestyle since 1982.

[3:14] Yeah he was basically.
I’ve learned from so many and I’ve taught so many so I was teaching I was how I was having House Parties back in the day when we had House Parties I was traveling around the world I was,
I was doing everything that I possibly could,
and then all the sudden now I have to start worrying about a lot of things that I never thought I would have to.
Like is the hotel,
accessible for a wheelchair do they have enough room in the dungeon for you know for a wheelchair and four things that I do so I never really had to think about any of these.

[3:58] So do you find that I mean I guess I haven’t actually thought of that before our events haven’t had dungeon so I haven’t had to think about it but.
Dungeons and a wheelchair that’s got to be,
complicated I mean people put their stuff on the floor there’s even if the event has made room because I know,
hey is here in Columbus they would actually Mark Isles they would take tape and Mark Isles but people still
has their stuff all over the place and it’s in the dark hmm God I don’t have a question around except that in that an issue ever just yes,
yes because.
You know trying to get make my way around spaces not only am I looking around me I have to look down.

[4:55] And a lot of people don’t realize you know they’re you know if I run over your whip I’m sorry if it didn’t like.
Thoroughfare my apologies I don’t mean to but if you’re going to be a big and have all your stuff everywhere you know it happens right.

[5:15] You know a lot a lot of times I will have my service dog with me so believe it or not people are more aware of my dog than they are me.
And that’s you know what I want to ask you next.
Is is it that they are unaware of you and how is it how did the people.
It’s perception of you if at all change well.

[5:47] Let’s see that’s a two-part question how has perception changed they think just because I you know in a chair that I can’t do anything anymore,
you know sometimes they take me with a grain of salt if they didn’t know who I was before my accident.

[6:06] You know just because you know I have different abilities.
Notice I’m not disabled I just have different abilities it does it doesn’t equate to me being useless.
Anymore it doesn’t equate to me not being able to you know do the things that I love to do.

[6:29] And a lot of times yeah,
it’s I like to call us the invisible population mmm no matter where we go whether it be in cake or not we’re an invisible population where people don’t actually think.
About whether or not their event or if their location is accessible you know for example I’ve been to it was an event.
Where the registration happened to be three steps down in like a well at a hotel well I couldn’t get to registration.
Right so I was just kind of sitting there going okay trying to find somebody who was actually a volunteer which took me about an hour to say I can’t get down to registration can you help me.

[7:24] How do people how do people respond to that is it more like oh shit I didn’t even think about that sorry or is it like oh great I gotta change my event to fit you.
I’ve had both okay I’ve had oh my God I didn’t realize this.
And they actually did change their form at the next year and then there was one event of which I no longer go to nor will I ever patronize ever again.
And if anybody asked me about the event I will tell them in private I turned around and said you know I kind of need some help here.
You know a lot of these these there was some classes that happen to be upstairs in a hotel and there was no elevator.
And so I went to the people who ran the event and I was told and I.

[8:23] I was told oh don’t worry we’ll carry you up the stairs.
Excuse me I’m not a piece of luggage hmm you know and I find that I found that to do truly offensive okay.
You know so.
And then I brought it up I said Can can you do something like maybe for like next year and I was told no we’re going for the cheapest hotel so you know you’ll just have to figure it out yourself I was I was floored.
So never again will I ever.

[8:57] You know go to any of their events ever again but most of the time it’s like oh my god I didn’t even think about this.

[9:06] Yeah what happens is when people start getting older.
And our bodies don’t work as well as as as they used to all of a sudden they start thinking about it right because you know nobody wants to join my club.
But eventually everybody ends up in it.
Right right if they’re lucky right more than where they have a short time span and they don’t have to and they don’t deal with it right right,
what about now what you see is mentioned people that you know didn’t know you you know taking it with a grain of salt what about people that did no you did you feel that suddenly where you were the you know Alzheimer daddy tear.
And now they’re like oh it’s poured a DT here did you get out this nope I don’t let that happen I don’t let them say that.
Okay I don’t let them say that you know don’t Oppo well ways me no no no I don’t accept that.
You know I know there’s still have a lot to give and I still have a lot of Life to Live and you know.

[10:16] If you’re if you’re going to if you’re going to sit there and give me you no pity points you know don’t even be around me because that’s not the type of energy I want around me.

[10:25] You know I’m just I just have wheels big deal uh-huh you know so how did you make.

[10:35] Wow it’s been a long day my words I have pictures so how did you make adjustments,
after being in the the wheel in the wheel chair right so I’m assuming most of your scenes you’re standing and whips and floggers like a lot of us do assuming that your thing so I mean is it just a matter
of a change from a sitting position now other things you had to change well there are some things like if I was.
Like if there was a bondage table or something like that and we just have to be a little lower okay.
And basically it’s just practicing from a sitting position.

[11:18] You know changing my angles can you know just changing a whole bunch of other things.
One thing I find difficult is with flogging you know serpentining is a little difficult.
Because I end up hit my knees like a feeder but other than that all it is is just a bad rep you know necessity is the mother of invention.

[11:41] Right so is dominating part of your Kink play.
BDSM but dominating it have you had to adjust for that at all because that that can be a little more,
the coil in my own way well the way I look at it as everyone is shorter than I am when they’re on their knees hahaha there you go.

[12:05] So that’s a good mentality to have I mean I know when oh we used to have a dungeon here what 20 years ago,
and I can remember one of the first people at Le Femme right,
and he was in a wheelchair and I’m like so how’s it going to do this she can just say no and then well course anybody can write
so later he’s got her bent over naked with her tits in a bucket of ice and she was not saying no I mean he was able to and and,
I don’t know why this stays in my head you know he was still able to be that strong person that would Dominate and so the chair made no difference that the
the only thing we had to do was to help him through one of the spinny doors,
right engine was built you know it’s a what happens is people tend to forget that the Lark that you know the most important sexual organ of the body is your brain,
okay,
you know and you know when it comes to dominating or domination that’s all in your head you know all in your head get it but it all comes from your you know from your from your mind,
in which has absolutely nothing to do with physicality great where are you as.

[13:25] As a so I’m getting ready to let’s say I’m not doing it I’ve done that I’m not crazy anymore but let’s say I was going to put together a BDSM event you know your standard 3 Day.
Dungeon at night classes during the day let’s even have a nice little leather contest do some standing model right hmm now top of my head I’d say oh it needs to be you know accessible so I’ll just make sure that we looked at the hotel has wheelchair parking.
Yeah nice ramps what else you want that event coordinator to think about and not just for you,
they’re coming to you because they don’t know the difference between
all they know is your you’ve got a disability so they’re asking you to speak for everybody with disabilities okay you would wants an ASL interpreter.
Someone has someone who does sign language and interpret so the deaf Community can be part of it as well.
You know because not all disabilities are you know people are in a chair right you.

[14:30] Let’s say you would want somebody to know that.

[14:38] Like if there’s somebody who’s blind that there’s somebody with them or if they’re coming alone.
To make arrangements so they can have a volunteer.
Stay with them you know saying okay I’m going here going here let’s do this let’s do that so they can get around easily.
But and if someone has a service animal like myself you know they will hook the dogs will have a vest.
Please don’t pet the pet them or go oh what a cute doggie and just touch the Dalton got you know.
My dog Zeus has been very people friendly but you know he’s got it you know the service animals do have a job to do.

[15:30] If there but yet other than that ramps someplace like if there’s might want to put chairs.
Like if you have these know some of these places have these really long hallways yep you know have Chairs set out,
because people you know some people like they just got out of a class or something like that and their next class is way down to the other end of the hallway but they can’t go that far you know they need a place to sit down.
Just for a few minutes before they can get back up and keep going you know maybe you want to put some chairs out you know in the hallway for people to sit and have a little sign up above it.
You know that you know a little handicap sign over it.

[16:14] People realize so people realize you know it’s there for people who have who have different abilities.
Right now it’s not just some place for you just to take a load off and you know or put your toy bag on right right,
yeah because people will see it as a place to just park it and chill instead of it being for a specific purpose so that’s a good idea,
and over it I very much appreciate your vulnerability and you’re sharing this obviously very personal Journey for you I’m going to ask you one last question that’s even more vulnerable and more personal sure how did.
You perceive you.
After the accident was there a journey going from well I guess I’m not Tom Lee Dom anymore to accepting.
Where you’re at um well yes it was a huge Journey for me and I’m still going through it.
You know because I you know still have times where I’m worn my former life because I mean I was an athlete I was also you name it I did it kind of thing my job is very physical.
To the point of okay now what am I going to do you know.
You know can I still do this can I still do that I’ve always been one to push myself you know that’s just an athlete’s mentality.

[17:37] You know can I do this and if I can’t how am I going to accomplish it and it’s a lot of trial and error.

[17:45] You know the whole thing is don’t give up you know because once you give up and there’s no point.

[17:54] So you just just I just had to figure out different ways of doing things.
You know and I kept to my Mantra my personal Mantra is attitude determines altitude.
Yeah I really like that.
It’s very cool awesome you are your stories inspirational and I appreciate you being on the podcast like I said I appreciate your vulnerability if people want to get ahold of you to learn more about,
you’re dealing with BDSM disabilities or the all the other neat things that you teach how to people get a hold of you they can find me on FetLife.

[18:33] Daddy underscore tear.
My profile is the one with the pentagram that says Pentagon Arizona Leather Women Within Arizona flag on it that’s me.

[18:49] But you can find me there awesome so we cool let’s go hang out with us uncomfortably for a little bit while we go through our other bits and then,
as you remember from last time annoying fetish questions are coming your way I’ll go right ahead shoot,
Dawn we are mere weeks away from turning our Wheels North to Cleveland Ohio where we will be presenting be DSM,
insects and polyamory toolkit for the Academy of fetish Arts we will,
but but how would I have known that unless I have not listened to the podcast so you can keep up with all of our Events book
news discount and more via the erotic Awakening newsletter and get your EA shot out like stina from Texas,
um I don’t know from I don’t know generally that’s what they put down I’m not one to judge our see named Jennifer from New York
and Douglas from Iowa head over to radically king.com And subscribe today and gets your ETA shout out
awesome so I we loved one the shoutout it’s always really cool guys when we see the email come through,
it’s like all someone else wants to shout out so so and Sam wall sets in something that they think I need,
what was it this is awesome so this is a item Toya something so it’s called oh nut.

[20:15] Okay and it’s like we’re actually talking about this wood forced blowjobs,
it wasn’t this toy but we were talking about forced blowjobs I want to show what for a go maybe or five ago,
and we were talking about,
the gagging reflex and stuff and I was like you know there’s a trick and that you can hold the base of the penis so that when you’re doing the force blow job
you can only go so far right but they are going to hit
my hand the problem with that is you’re going to be punching yourself in the face I do and I do I punch myself in the face when I’m given for jobs but this thing is its rings,
and the kind of look like Play-Doh in The Tick-Tock but they’re not but they can compress and you take these Rings oh that’s a bad image that was just in my head never mind not going to share it,
the Ring Toss game the kids toy game with the rings of each other yeah sizes yeah yeah this is kind of what this law.

[21:24] It’ll stop your face from mashing into their pelvis or stop that gagging or stop a pegging from going too deep for some of these before stopping a pegging from going to deep sea it can be used like that too but yeah they’re different.

[21:39] The cool so anyway it’s not exact interesting people come up with something,
all right and that just moves us over to our three fetishes daddy tear you remember how this works pick a number and I’m going to ask you an uncomfortable question about it why you two I’m sorry.

[22:00] Number one.
This super interesting to me how do you feel about narrow to philia this is the fetish of those who enjoy telling or listening to dirty stories talking about sex or,
perhaps incorporating dirty talk into sex otherwise roleplay.
Not necessarily this is more about just the audio x30 experience I would suggest.

[22:29] Sure.
So is it is it something that you would find to be a kink or a fetish so is it something that you need in your play or is it something that you.

[22:45] Fantasize about um either not for me it’s good.
Cool come on let’s get a better question I have to admit,
this is indeed something that I openly fantasize about I have a fantasy about somebody who doesn’t want to be touched physically.

[23:11] But so I tell them stories to get him out turned on that’s cool and nothing will.
Make Dan Pop faster Whispering naughty things that I’ve done with other people in his ear you’re not lying it’s so yes that is one of his things,
all right one or two dog um.

[23:36] One you know one or two I lied to or three yes let’s do three all right.

[23:45] All I saw was that it was a long words I want to hear you I don’t have a clue how to pronounce this it’s all I’m gonna let
oh Dax ELD axilla genius sure that but we know it’s a kink is the cake is for biting or being bitten mmm,
okay I actually like that and that fits in with my paranormal erotica that I read a lot so.
Biting I don’t get to do a lot of biting but I do love to be bitten so.
That is here anything for biting yes and yes and yes how was that yeah yeah oh yeah.
Yeah yeah I’ll paid anything well almost anything yeah items are welcome.
I’m down for biting you you have that pointy tools that you like to bite yes absolutely mmm so it’s on me so would you like to or two,
I’ll go for two all right so needle play playing with needles can involve breaking the skin can involve breaking the skin should say
does involve breaking the skin and temporary piercing oh it says needles can also be used to scratch now let’s go with needle Play Breaking of the skin needles um.

[25:08] Don’t like Rossini evening.
Been there done that I’ve done that on you yes ritual before yeah you know I feel like I would like Neil play a lot but I just rarely do it and I really and I don’t put any effort into it create a kit but,
then I just never do it,
yeah you’ve done it a few times with maybe do it more during ritual than anything else and yeah so as a way of generating energy I will say now I’m on a medication now that involves me giving myself shots,
so to understanding that needle play doesn’t cause damage,
because that was a big thing of yours not yeah like breaking the skin whereas I love needles I love the endorphins
I love the designs that can be done with it I love everything about it so
but how about you daddy’s here I’d love it making all sorts of designs I’ll even I’ve done Neil corsets,
Dawn.
Which are always a lot of fun I don’t know if anybody’s been to Southwest leather Fest where we did against the souls with the piercings,
I still got my scar You Got Your Hooks yes You Got Your Hooks yeah so we’ve got a few years ago,
you know so but you know you know.

[26:31] And with my corset cell he’s the DM C DM C floss with the different colors okay I’ve done feathers.
Yep I’ve made wings oh yeah all chanting you know hold another Avenue of creativity I really.

[26:53] Yep I really wanted to get into flesh hooks after the dance of Souls and I plan on traveling the country and hooking up with this group that met at different places and I was going to do the whole thing and then that Community kind of blow up
a few years back so I didn’t get it yeah that but,
yeah see you next time you go pick number 2 that was the good old hello yeah absolutely,
so don that the country thing is you have to arrange the questions to fit the in Amber,
yeah but you never know who your audiences are answers real that’s true,
we interviewed we have somebody on the show not too long ago the question was about armpits.

[27:34] And they were like oh yeah arpit that’s awesome I was like really never would’ve guessed each their own to each their own solutely,
yep Don good news that the government is continuing to keep us safe
so Ohio Hedgehog sent this to us so I’m a longtime podcast listener and it’s a link to the FDA approves underwear
to protect against STDs during oral sex so I read the article and it is latex,
underwear that is really tight on the thighs to keep the juices from leaking out,
and at first I’m kind of like I don’t know but I use dental dams and this actually seems like it would be sexier than dental dams
door slams you kind of kind of kind of got a hold it in place and hope it doesn’t fold over and if you move it or it doesn’t flip then.

[28:34] When I think of those I think that the old plastic pants used to put over diapers yeah but I think.
I’m sorry that’s not sexy for me but um but if they were tight and maybe there would be a pocket for a pee.

[29:09] I’m definitely reaching out to these guys I would love to have them on the show but actually I don’t care about having on the show I just want to free goodies.
Which seems unlikely but I’ll reach out to them and say hey I’ll review this thing I want to use I want to try it cool well I’m kind of curious how bikinis keep things safe.
Because some stuff that bit gets on your thighs I mean it’s not know this anymore these they’re like that’s like a,
I want boy briefs.
Well you go get some boy briefs I think it’s like Saran Wrap no it’s like a baggie no it’s not not making it unsexy we might be point being a superhero pants
see that’s what I want that would be like super hero yeah.

[29:54] I just came back and I just went to Fan Fusion last weekend so there were a lot of them all over the place Hi man I still want to do cosplay with some superheroes.
But I want them to I want to be the bad guy so they take me down.

[30:09] I’ve seen that a Dark Odyssey before we’re someone dressed up as the good superhero and someone was the the bat the villain,
and they were like tackling each other on us on the side of the dungeon and he was donut,
throw down scene and yeah all right keep your latex paint okay I’ll keep my latex panties we gotta wrap this thing up at first on you do have some tentacles
I’ve got some on tentacles that have come in so every show someone sends me links to tentacle sex or stuff to do with tentacles so and I’m not gonna be able to pronounce this right I’m sure in Tyrell Maybe
energetic oh yes I can energetic content so had
sent me a picture it was like a it was an octopus measuring spoon holder but they took the hooks off of it and turn it into a paddle,
so it was a it was a octopus paddle so that was really cool and then someone else sent damages this one you said you looked at this one yeah so this is from Studio
bongard they have a variety of octopus like things for example Don you can get this fine giant octopus on a pot for a near 84 thousand pounds
is that what that is pounds yep cool so it’s actually kind of cute,
no room in the RV for it though and then lose you expensive to 4,000 pounds has I stand corrected it’s in euros.

[31:36] Yeah yeah is that still alive for over 4,000 Euros it’s.

[31:43] Yeah that’s like oh that’s still that’s almost that’s almost like 3,500 bucks $37 Google believes that it is currently with exchange rate 4,200 bucks.
Wow things are flipped a little bit so solution is sent me technical silverware which is actually kind of cool I could have that here there is actually very.
Cool looking and then Trevor sent us on Discord we have a not-safe-for-work Channel with our patrons and he sent a picture of the.
Tentacle dildo that I swear looks like a bad dragon dildo so love it well you are short on dildos you do not have your required save do I have to yes we got the I’ll be okay in Texas I only have two.
Oh and the reef.
Did we see something or you can’t have more than three dildos in Texas something like that it was yeah the problem was is that the governor at the time she had like eight,
so she was not in compliance lovely,
but I like all sizes right now I have my glass one and I have my suction cup one that I have not used since we’ve been in the RV I told you that nothing yeah.
Look like okay yes sir we have a topic for our next podcast awesome.

[33:06] If you were to head over to Instagram and you wanted to see Dawn writing a pink
a big pink technical dildo you would be disappointed but if you wanted to see what we looked like in our real regular daily life the picture of the day is a picture of us writing our bicycles in the fine.

[33:24] All right here in the Columbus Ohio right here in central Ohio so I was on my recumbent trike and you’re on your,
your new bike trying to get some exercise in so um yeah that’s kind of what we do now,
that’s what we do now take them over to support the podcast read us another podcast can play Stitcher Spotify or wherever you listen or just tell your friends feel free to reach out to us we love interacting with,
contact us with questions podcast comments or just to say hi you can find this as Dan and Dawn at,
Twitter war that life and more erotic Awakening on Instagram or just use the links from the erotic Awakening website Facebook and Discord,
or email us at Dan and Don at erotic Awakening.com or stop by our RV,
Columbus Ohio the address is I figure nobody’s listening to this point anyway well we have had people with jobs with already we’ve only been here for three days right
we’ve already met up with two groups of two small groups of people for outdoor things so that’s been kind of cool it has so I think we’re done by gone by then but I did hi guys
when you guys come out to Arizona let me know because I’m in Phoenix,
perfect Pasta query are going to be out there.

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