EA633 – Safe Words When 24 7 Power Exchange

Transcription via some robot..

 

 

Dan: This week on Erotic Awakening. tapping out via safe words and poaching.

dawn: Welcome to erotic awakening, an exploration of all things erotic. If you are offended by adult topics or prohibited by law, we recommend you stop listening …

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And other content. Thank

dawn: you to all of our patron supporters. Hi Dawn. Hi

Dan: Dan. so lemme ask you this question, Dawn. Yes. When we play, even after 20 years, when we play, you still get to have safe words. I do. Yes. And I still expect you to use safe words, for example we don’t normally run into things that are unexpected, but it may well be you get a cramp or it may well be, you’re just.

Tolerating a thing that normally you tolerate or it might be you hit an emotional aspect, something like that. Any of those are completely valid reasons to say word. Right? Absolutely. So are you allowed to say word because since we’re 24 7, when we’re not playing,

dawn: am I allowed to yes. What would that involve?

Dan: Let’s say, I say, Don, go walk the dog and you say.

dawn: I don’t think so. I mean, part of me is saying, huh, hadn’t thought of that before, actually, because I don’t do that. What would I be allowed to? I think I would be allowed to, I think you’d look at me funny, but I don’t think it’s not allowed. Instead. I look at you in a non place situation.

I look at you and go, you. My hip is really not good today and it’s icy outside. And would you mind if I skip this time?

Dan: Right. But sometimes we don’t, I don’t, we don’t have that conversation. Right. Sometimes it’s shut the fuck up and serve. Right, right. So, what about, you know, more of that situation? Not where I’m saying handy.

Can you go walk the dog, but where I’m saying, be Dawn, get off your ass, go walk the dog. Can I go walk the dog? What if you have a bad hip and it’s icy out, I go

dawn: walk the dog.

Dan: So that means you don’t, you would not say word to protect yourself in that situation.

dawn: I don’t think so simply because it hasn’t come up in 20 years.

Dan: What about if I, and this has come up, what if I’m about to punish you for something and you know, in your heart that it, that I am wrong, that this punishment is

dawn: incorrect and this has happened before? Yes. And I’ve gone to speak up and you’ve. shut up and take your punishment. Mm-hmm so I shut up and I took my punishment and then afterwards, I asked if we could discuss it.

So why not safe word?

It doesn’t feel right? Hmm. In play it’s and, and scenes. It’s kind of different. And I don’t know why I, I would really have to think about this. I don’t know why for me. In our everyday life. It’s about obedience. Mm-hmm . So for me it feels like it’s about obedience. I don’t know how to be any more clearer than that when we’re seeming and playing, I get off on the obedience part, but that’s not what it’s about.

Right. I mean, there’s power exchange there. That’s my fetish, but I’m okay to call a halt to it. It’s.

Dan: Yeah, I, I don’t have a difficulty with this personally in that I believe that safe words during play completely legitimate. Mm-hmm we talked about that. I like it just the way it is, but I think that when you were a submissive, when we were new in our relationship, then you had the.

More likely hood of safe wording

dawn: as we’re getting to know each other and stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

Dan: But at taking the points of agreeing to be in a 24. Seven power exchange relationship at whether it’s that higher level submissive or that deeper level submissive or, or what some people say slave what we use the term be ballot or follower, part of that.

Transition part of that acceptance into going into that next phase is that safe wordss are no longer appropriate, right? You don’t get to, to choose. No, because you don’t want to do something. You don’t get to choose opting out of things. Now, I would say

if there is a. Potential that you would hurt yourself and I wasn’t listening. Mm-hmm you know, it’s hard. I would say, gee, you should probably say for it, but like you said in 20 years, it hasn’t come

dawn: up. No. And, and it’s actually what listening to you talk you’re right at the beginning of our relat. When I was still questioning a lot of stuff, questioning if things were right for me, questioning if I was doing the right thing, questioning if I should obey questioning if you had my, my best interest at heart.

Yeah. I, I probably, and I may not even remember, and I may have safe forwarded before. Right? Mm-hmm , as you’re getting to learn, but somewhere a, a switch Flipp. and when that switch flipped, sometimes people will ask me, what is the difference between a sub and a slave, which we didn’t even put in the show notes here.

I don’t know where this is coming from, but , you know, some people ask me, what’s the difference between a sub and a slave. And I’ll tell them for me, it’s when that flip switched, when that switch flipped right. And I didn’t even mean for it to happen, but one day I’m questioning. And it wasn’t this simple, but it felt like one day I was questioning stuff.

And is this really right for me? And is this, you know, is this healthy and blah, blah, blah. And then the switch flipped and I’m just obeying. right. The trust has been built. The faith has been built. The experience has been built and now I’m obeying mm-hmm and that’s what my goal is. That’s what my drive is.

So if I’m safe, wording against orders that you’re giving me at this point in my life, that means I’m questioning your intent or something. Or I think you haven’t thought about that. You know, about my hip mm-hmm. You know, whatever, if you see me limping towards the door, you’re gonna change your mind. I don’t need to bring it up.

And if you don’t, you don’t and I’m out the door and I do my best.

Dan: And if you come back and now you’ve gotta go get surgery, I take responsibility for that. Right. Right. It’s like the whole, if I tell you to jump off of a bridge, instead of you safe wording, because of how dangerous it is, right. You. that there’s a zombie invasion, 12 steps behind us.

Right. And I’m trying to keep you

dawn: safe. Right. So I, that is what I assume. And that is actually the type of relationship that I want. And I’m not the only person, so right. It is a valid way of doing power exchange. Wow. That topic. So, so I don’t know if you were wanting me to say it was valid to safe. During relationship time.

And maybe it is for some people I’m not saying right or wrong, but it’s not for me. I don’t wanna start questioning things like that.

I thought that was a great conversation, but we don’t have time for that conversation anymore. because we have 11 events in October.

Dan: So how would people find out about all those.

dawn: So they keep up with all our events, book news discount, and more via the erotic awakening newsletter.

Dan: And they get their EA shoutout like David in Ohio,

dawn: head over to ERO awakening.com and subscribe today.

Dawn

Dan: E it happens. , I don’t understand. I don’t think you understand the purpose of this podcast. It’s not a new show. Why do we have a traffic

dawn: report? It’s not a new show, but oh my gosh, the weirdest stuff gets sent to Ohio hedgehog and I’m so glad he passes those along.

But he passed me this article. A truck accident that happened outside of Oklahoma city. It was on route 40. Right. And he, sent me pictures and, the, the trucks that were involved, let’s just say that there was dildos and lube spread out all over the highway. So in the article, it talks about how the helicopter is taking the pictures over the highway of the product, spread out all over the road

the live newscasters are saying, so, Joe, what do you see down there? What is that all over the road? And Joe’s like well well zoom in clothes and he zoomed in clothes and it’s just boxes and boxes of dildos and lube so yeah. Yeah. Never know what you might come across. I mean, they gotta get to the store somehow.

Right? Mm-hmm so well that truck got hit

Dan: yeah. Yeah. I mean, obviously this stuff, does you. Sometimes it’s a truck full of chickens that gets knocked over and you get chickens all over the

dawn: street. And sometimes which you’ve seen, I’ve seen that before. Yeah. Oh, fake Cox. Yeah. I was trying to where you’re going.

dawn: So something was brought to my attention. Recently, someone sent me a TikTok of all things. As a matter of fact, I think the person that sent me the TikTok sent it to me through Instagram. So it’s a TikTok through a private message on private message on Instagram. And it was actually something I’ve had to deal with before.

Right. So. Submissive runs a submissive group mm-hmm and these dominants started joining the submissive group on Fe. Right? So the submissive went and all of the people that had joined the group, all of the attendees or, or it’s not attendees, but whoever joined the group mm-hmm they went through.

removed all the dominance and dos and tops. Sure. Right. And then blocked them right. Created you don’t

Dan: need, you don’t need drama. You don’t need dominance, jumping onto submissive, only groups just to try and poach the submissive.

dawn: Right. And that’s exactly what this was about. Well, it caused a lot of drama and she’s actually.

Really upset about what’s going on, cuz people are calling her out and, you know, just causing all kinds of issues. Well, that made me think, Hey, I haven’t looked at my submissive group on Fe life in a while. I wonder how many dominance are on there. I went and looked and out of 140 submissives I had on there.

Mm-hmm 34 were dominance . So, and what’s happening is, is that they’re joining the submissive groups and then poaching.

Dan: Yeah. They’ll, they’ll see somebody post something that they want to talk about and they’ll private message ’em and say, oh gee, you know, I wanted to share some information about this thing.

dawn: Right. So, you know, and things like that. So I just wanted to throw out there that I went and. Took off all those 34 dominance and blocked them from the group. So I didn’t get any drama. So I was gonna say, so none of it this, or, yeah, nobody came back and said anything on mine. So, but I kind of did it quietly.

I didn’t make like this announcement, but I have done that before. And when I have a submissive chat, The first thing I do. Cause I, whenever I do things like that, I write all the RSVPs the day before to remind them that it’s coming up. Right. Mm-hmm the virtual thing. Well, even when it was in person and the first thing I do with the follower chat is I have to go through and remove all the doms and dominance mm-hmm and it’s like really?

The first rule is, yeah, this is safe space for submissives, not a meat market. It’s

Dan: unfortunate. I wish I could be

dawn: surprised. Yeah, I know. But.

Dan: I understand that you got tentacles on

dawn: boobs. I did. So I actually got tentacles on boobs and a couple, lot of other things. So no, you didn’t.

Dan: You got tentacles. I get food on boobs. You don’t get tentacles on you. Say tentacles

dawn: on boobs. See if you listen to me, tentacles in toilets.

that made your eyes go wide. Let’s hear about that. So enigma sent me a tentacle lady getting tentacled with tentacles, right. That’s just a picture. And then also sent me a picture of a game called tentacles in the toilet. so it looks like it’s a card game. So yeah, they have a little bit of everything now, but I also got pirate sent me another tentacle sex cartoon.

and then Bassano sent me a wear Wolf erotica picture. Now I like my tentacles, but like I’ve said before, I also like the paranormal. I also like the supernatural. I also like the aliens mm-hmm and wear. Wolf’s getting it on. That was awesome. Okay. Good deal. Now what men sent me, I’m not so sure. And I don’t know, men didn’t specifically send it to me.

We have a, not safe for work, picture channel on our discord channel. Right. And so he sent it to that, but it is an alien, but plug and what I mean by an alien, but plug, do you remember the movie alien? Was it alien or aliens where the alien popped out of the chest? Okay. So the thing that popped out of the chest that’s what’s on the end of this butt plug.

No. So when you stick that butt plug up someone there’s an alien jumping out of the ax. Ah,

Dan: no. Because I like butt sex on occasion and I don’t want that image in my head

dawn: ever. Can you imagine though, walking, let’s say you’re in a dungeon and someone’s kneeling on a spanking bench and they’ve got that Uhhuh sticking out of their ass.

You don’t know it’s a butt plug.

Dan: you would hope maybe that you hope it’s not a parasite

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dawn: Contact us with questions, podcast comments, or just to say hi, you

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dawn: and Fe life. We are erotic awakening on Instagram,

Dan: or use the links from the erotic awakening website for Facebook and discord.

dawn: Or just me E just, just, just email us. P chick pop P at Dan and dawn@eroticawakening.com.

Bye dawn. Bye Dan.