New Relationship Energy …or lack thereof…aka DemiSexual

So, for years I’ve been thinking that I must just be weird….for many reasons. But, this one in particular.

I don’t experience NRE.

The only time I’ve come close is my first boyfriend in high school. It was at church camp of all places and I could tell he was different. My cousins set me up with him and I was twitterpated for a very long time, right off the bat. The butterflies when he called. The feelings when we held hands. All of it good, yummy, powerful stuff.

But, since then, I have found that I have to get to know you before I even come close to NRE. I didn’t experience it with my first husband. I experienced it with Dan, but we had already known each other for 15 years before our relationship shifted and I felt it.

I experienced it with the current boyfriend of 7 years, but it definitely wasn’t right away. We were a good couple of months, at least, into seeing each other regularly before it happened.

I crushed on an event play partner, but not until I’d known him for about 3 years. It was that long before we even played together and a little longer than that before I crushed on him.

I have talked to another person that experiences NRE the same as I do. Time to get to know the person, trust the person, open up and be vulnerable to the person, be myself without judgement with the person. Once I can drop my walls and be me with no repercussion…..then I can experience the NRE.

Isn’t this backwards? I know people, like Dan, that experience NRE if someone just waves/winks/glances at them.

My way of doing things……I’m told is because I’m a Demisexual.



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